Hear no Evil: Speak no Evil: See no Evil
by WhiteWolfCub
Summary: [COMPLETE]Remus comes to seventh year silent. Through horrible memories, Sirius is going to find out why his once talkative and friendly boyfriend has changed so much. How much will everyone suffer before this is done? [SLASH][Once 'Home Life']
1. Chapter 1

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, Mpreg(?), and Voldemort being weird.  
**Summary: **Seventh year has begun and Remus comes back completely different. He is cold, distant, depressed, and uncaring. Something happened to him and the Marauders are determined to find out.

**Notes: **Okay, I know! I have other duties to my stories but I just arrived in Omaha (my home before I moved, it is so much better) and my inspiration is back into its proper working gear. Okay, this story is beyond angst, it is most likely one of my darkest ones. Um, some of the stuff Remus does in this story is some of the things I do because I am still getting over a serious depression. So, it would be really appreciated if you could all leave a review and check out this and see where it goes. Okay, well as long as that is out there I must say there will be Voldemort, he takes…never mind! You will find out, won't you! Yay! New story-ness!

Gaspeth! On with the story!

---Chapter One---

King's Cross was alive with chatter of the many young students, all of them excited to start a new year from the last, prepared to see what would come next. One of the people among these packed crowds was none other than Sirius Black, a tall young man standing on his tip toes, trying to seek out his companions. With his truck parked next to him and his owl perched in his cage, Sirius felt pretty good…now all he had to do was…

"Aha! James I'm over here!" He called out, his hand waving towards the messy haired boy to come over to him. James Potter glanced over, a bright smile lighting up his features, making his way to the boy that called. After a few more hectic moments, he made his way over, embracing his brotherly best friend.

"Good to see you man! Good to see you!" James said, patting Sirius' back and stepping back, both of them about the same height. "How are you? Your new flat working out well?"

"As well as it can be, still can't believe that just one year ago I was on your doorstep, soaking wet with my trunk and Kaist right next to me," Sirius sighed, almost reliving those "good" times. James looked down at Sirius' black owl, kneeling to get eye level with him.

"And how is Kaist?" He asked, pushing up his glasses so he could see well. Sirius smiled, giving a nod as a reply. James sat back up, motioning towards the train. "Let's find a compartment; we can for Moony and Wormtail there." Sirius gave one last look around before both of them started to wheel up to the train, dropping off their trunks in the right place and getting on their train, finding the perfect compartment near the end. Both of them got perfectly situated, beginning their conversation about Quidditch.

Soon enough Peter had arrived, his fat cheeks brightly red.

"Hey guys, where's Remus?" He asked, seating himself next to James. Sirius bit his lip, usually Remus was the first one to arrive, and he being the last was strangely unsettling. He suddenly got jolted out of his thoughts when the train lurched forward, the loud whistle going off to announce its departure. James stood up, going to the door and opening it, sticking his head out and trying to see if Remus was out there. Many of the students were filing back into their proper compartments when the train started to take off. Shutting the door he turned to Sirius and shook his head. The young man began to chew his lip and he walked passed James and out to the hall.

Sirius made his way down the hall, checking each compartment as he went by. Walking forward he made his way to the end, looking into the last compartment which was empty except a figure sleeping. Opening the compartment Sirius stepped in silently, making his way towards the prone figure and kneeling down, his worry vanishing once he saw it was Remus, his chest slowly rising and falling in slumber.

Sirius smiled gently, standing up comfortably and reaching down, slipping an arm under Remus' knees and his other under his upper back, gently lifting the young man and holding him close to his chest and making his way back out, towards their compartment. Upon entering the other two let out sighs of relief, Peter getting up to make room for Sirius to set him down.

"Where was he Pads?" James asked, laying his uniform robe on top of the sleeping boy. Peter laid his robes where James' left off; making sure it wouldn't slip off and made his seat again, sighing.

"He was in the last compartment, fast asleep," Sirius answered, absently brushing a few strands away from his crush's eyes. Stopping he noticed that Remus' face was stricken, like he was having a nightmare. The young werewolf's breathing had become sharp and quick, like he was fighting for his life.

"What's wrong with him?" James asked, noticing the stricken look on his friends face.

"I…don't know but he must be having a nightmare," Sirius said, grasping Remus' shoulder and gently but roughly shaking him. "Remus wake up, come on wake up now." A small groan answered him and he sighed in relief, watching the young man rub his eyes and open blurry amber orbs, glazed by sleep.

"You were having a nightmare," Sirius said. Remus seemed to study him for a moment before he sat up, smoothing out hislight browncolored hair and stretching. Picking up the cloaks that slid off of him he tossed them back towards the others silently, not saying a word. They all waited for a response but nothing seemed to be happening.

Sirius shifted a little nervously. "Uh, hey Remus? Are you okay?" He asked. The only response he got was a quick nod but nothing else. James and he exchanged a quick look before Sirius sat down across from the werewolf. Amber eyes examined him for a moment before they switched to gaze out the window.

Silence went through the entire trip, Remus depressed and silent.

---**TBC---**

**That was a stupid beginning I know but I must say that I think I could like this one. I know I have another new story out but give this one a try, okay? Reviews!**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, Mpreg(?), and Voldemort being weird.  
**Summary: **Seventh year has begun and Remus comes back completely different. He is cold, distant, depressed, and uncaring. Something happened to him and the Marauders are determined to find out.

**Notes: **I feel like continuing this one and what not. I am really tired so there will not be a lot of Notes. Okay, continuation now!

Yah, yah, on with the story!

---Chapter Two---

Needless to say the trip to Hogwarts was an awkward one and nothing any of them said could coax Remus into saying anything. He sat, silent, staring out the window with half glazed amber eyes, as if he was I his own little dream. Sirius didn't touch him, he was afraid Remus would shy away from him, which was something he couldn't handle very well at all.

When the train had finally come to a stop, James and Peter had gotten out of the compartment in a rush, hoping that they could get away from the awkward situation. Still, Remus did not move, he continued to stare out the window. Sirius went over to him, tapping the boy on the shoulder and allowing a few moments go by before he cleared his throat.

"Rem, we arrived, come on now," Sirius gently prodded.

"_YOU LITTLE BEAST!"_

"_No papa, please don't!"_

Sirius released Remus when a silent scream gave way, knocking him down and hitting his head on the chair, everything going black.

Remus came out of his daze with a small tap and with calculated eyes he examined Sirius on the ground for a moment before standing up and going out to get a teacher to help him.

-----------------

"Oh man, his head is bandaged," a voice said blurrily from a distance.

"He was out for such a long time. What happened, Remus?" A squeaky voice said afterwards. No response came and Sirius opened his grey eyes to find that all of the Marauders were sitting beside him, looking down at his prone form in worry and a little fascination.

"Hey Sirius, how are you feeling?" James asked, reaching out to pat his shoulder gently. Sirius shrugged, he struggled a bit to sit up and allowed James to prop his pillows. "Pomfrey says you'll be out in a few minutes, says it wasn't that serious but only a slight cut to the back of your head. So, how did it happen?"

"Well," Sirius began, but a look of panic in Remus' eyes caught his attention and he quickly said something else. "I was sort of startled, my bag tumbled out of the overhead carrier and it made me stumble backwards." With a grin he made the lie complete and he noticed that Remus had visibly relaxed.

James cracked a grin and Peter nervously followed his example.

"Be careful mate! Those things are bloody dangerous!" James laughed, slapping him on the shoulder. Sirius grinned mischievously and threw the covers aside, diving on James and sending them both to the ground, rolling around and laughing while trying to keep the other down. Peter cautiously cheered the boys on while Remus sat completely still, eyes focused on where Sirius had been laying.

Standing up, he left silently. James and Sirius immediately stopped their play fight and watched as their silent friend exited through the large doors.

-------------------

He couldn't sleep, he had been tossing and turning for over an hour now and he still couldn't sleep a wink. What he saw was something inhuman. Remus lying on the ground at his father's feet, his boyfriend crying for the man to stop what ever it was he was doing. Throwing the covers aside, Sirius go out of bed, walking over to Remus' beside where he was also tossing, but not from lack of sleep, from a nightmare. To see that memory all he did was touch Remus' shoulder and he was pulled in. Sirius glanced around to make sure the other two were asleep and walked forward holding out his hand. He had to find out, whether his boyfriend wanted him too of not. Grasping the thin shoulder firmly he immediately pulled in.

_He was in a living room, the furniture neatly polished and set in appropriate places. Remus was sitting in the middle of it, shaking as an angry looking man approached him. A brief moment passed as he noticed a tired woman peek through the doorway, her eyes shimmering with tears._

"_YOU LITTLE BEAST!"_

"_No papa, please don't!" Remus cried, covering his head with his hands. He bit his lip as a thin piece of pure silver touched his neck, leaving a heavy burn. __Remus was shaking violently now, his amber eyes leaking crystal tears. His mother gave a silent gasp from the doorway, her frail frame shaking like a broken blender._

"_You wretched child! You cursed beast, you! No one should hear that voice! Ever!" With a scream of rage he took out his wand and pointed it directly at Remus' throat, watching as the blue jet stream sucked away everything, the life in his boy and his voice. _

_Remus touched his throat, silently sobbing. _

_A silent scream…_

…slowly brought Sirius back to the waking world and he stumbled back, making sure to catch himself before he fell that time. Looking upon Remus he slowly walked forward, watching as the boy he so loved calm down and turn to his side, his chest slowly rising and falling in slumber.

"Oh Remus, why did he do that to you?" Sirius asked to no one.

**---TBC---**

**Short I know, but I really am tired, good night people!**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, Mpreg(?), and Voldemort being weird.  
**Summary: **Seventh year has begun and Remus comes back completely different. He is cold, distant, depressed, and uncaring. Something happened to him and the Marauders are determined to find out.

**Notes: **I am replenished! Okay, last time I was doing the chapter half heartedly and it wasn't that good from what I read. I have had good night sleeps these nights and I am ready to do an ultra long chapter this time! We have a little twist so you all have to just sit back and enjoy. As for my other stories, I will continue those. So Which One is Mommy is on a slight break, because I am at a complete writer's block for that one. It will be continued though, so no need to panic and what not. I love you all! Thank you for saying good night to me ya'll, I actually got all of my energy back! Hoozah! Now, shall we do a continuation?

Gaspeth! On with the story!

---Chapter Three---

The morning was nothing spectacular. In fact, it was rather dull for Sirius. James had continued to talk about his year in Quidditch and Peter paid attention to the other boy like he would never see him again. Sirius gave small glances to Remus and nodded every time James paused for a breath. McGonagall swept by their table, handing them their schedules.

"Good luck this year Lupin," she said gravely. "You have tough classes. Most of them are with Slytherins." She gave the brown haired boy an apologetic look but continued on her way. Remus watched her leave for a moment before standing and following her path. Sirius watched curiously as Remus stood in front of Dumbledore for a moment, making symbols with his hands that made no sense to him. The old man nodded and led Remus out of the hall.

"Padfoot don't you agree?" James asked suddenly, causing Sirius to snap back to him. "Padfoot?"

"S-sorry James, I have to -um, erm go to the bathroom, yeah bathroom," Sirius made up quickly and grabbed his bag, exiting the Great Hall.

Fast enough, he slipped behind a pillar and watched as Remus and Dumbledore spoke to each other. Well, it was more Dumbledore explaining things to him and Remus nodding but Sirius listened none the less anyway.

"Well Remus this is troublesome, especially with a spell like that," Dumbledore said. "Your father is a pureblood and has high connections with the Ministry so there isn't much we can do to help your situation."

Silence followed his statement.

"I am going to tell the teachers of your particular case and you can get extra help," Dumbledore said, but his tone turned uncertain with the next thing he said. "You wolf counterpart isn't helping, being that it is unable to cope with being silent. You will be in a lot of pain for about a year. I don't know if you want to take an old man's advice but…Mr. Black seems to care a lot about you, why don't you try going to him. Friendship can do much more than any spell after all." Sirius poked his head around and noticed that Remus was crying, trying to hide it with his hands as Dumbledore stood at a respectable distance.

"He's worried Remus, you have changed too much for anyone not to notice," he said softly, gently placing a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Come now Remus, it is time for classes to begin." The old wizard took his leave and Remus stayed put for a few more minutes. Looking back, Sirius noticed many people exiting and he took that as his chance to get to Remus.

"Hey Rem, are we ready to go? This class we have together," Sirius said, hesitantly placing a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. Remus looked up at him softly before wrapping his arms around Sirius, burrowing his head into the taller boy's shoulder. Sirius sighed, hugging Remus back and kissing his forehead gently.

"_**I'm sorry Sirius." **_

Sirius jumped, looking around rapidly to see who it was that had just spoken to him. Looking at Remus something seemed to click and he smiled at him, nodding an okay.

"Remus we're going to skip classes today alright?" Sirius said. Remus opened his mouth in a silent protest but Sirius only shook his head, not willing to listen. Bringing Remus a little closer he quickly swept the unwilling boy into a tight hold, carrying him all the way back to common room where he just dropped him on the couch.

Looking at the boy under him he took a serious expression.

"You talked to me Remus, how did you talk to me?" Sirius asked. Remus seemed to concentrate a bit but smirked a bit.

"**_You mean like this?" _**He asked. Sirius nodded.

"It sounded like you were talking to me in my head, but, it was different, like you were actually speaking it," Sirius said. Remus nodded, seeming a little proud of himself.

"**_It was difficult, I was connecting me with Moony, and so I could use his voice box. But because he isn't out when I am, his voice can't be heard, so I made a mental connection with anyone who talks to me," _**Remus explained to him, feeling a little proud of himself. Sirius smiled, grabbing onto Remus and holding him close, never wanting his love go.

"Teach me how Remus," Sirius whispered directly into his ear. Remus shivered slightly, wrapping his slim arms around his lover, holding tight.

"**_The only way it would work would be to hook to Padfoot, but Padfoot is you, so I'm not sure it would work," _**Remus said.

"Damn it," Sirius growled. "But I have a different personality than Padfoot, what if I could find a way to hook those two together." Remus was silent, trying to think if that could work or not but he shook his head, sighing silently.

"**_I…don't think so, it doesn't work that way. You have to have two separate minds,"_** Remus said.

"Well, then, I'll just have to see. I won't stop until I know for sure," Sirius huffed, sitting up so he was straddling Remus' hips. Crossing his arms he sat in thought.

----------------

James and Peter walked down the busy corridors in silence, listening to bustling of students trying to get to their next classes on time. What was strange was that Sirius and Remus had not shown up to their first class and James was starting to get a little worried about all of it. Peter walked silently behind the taller boy, not daring to speak until his idol did.

"Hey Pete, what do you think happened to Remus that got him so quiet?" James asked abruptly. Peter shrugged, not knowing the answer to that question, though silently thanking that the awkward silence had ended. James looked at Peter for the briefest moments of time before breaking into a run towards the Gryffindor Tower.

"Come on Pete!" He called back. "I want to see what those two are up to –OOF!" He stumbled back as he crash landed into Crabbe _and _Goyle. Both of them didn't even budge and it made Lucius Malfoy look over in annoyance. With a full turn around, he sneered down at James as the other boy picked himself up, rubbing his nose.

"Well look who it is boys, Potter and Pettigrew," he said mockingly, waiting for Crabbe and Goyle to finish their laughter before continuing. "So boys, what are we going to do to these two for causing us all that trouble last year?"

James stood up confidently, smirking in an 'I-already-won' sort of way. "Malfoy you know good and well that whatever it is you challenge me at, I win. If it is a duel you want, bring it on." Lucius' smirk faded quickly, an angry face being made in its place.

"Keep talking Potter, but you won't be once I'm through with you," he said bitingly. "This year I won't fall for your silly tricks, you're finished." With a yell he tackled the unsuspecting boy, dragging him to the ground where Crabbe and Goyle immediately jumped on him.

"What the hell was that Malfoy?" James yelled, hissing as a punch landed on his gut. Peter stood back with wide eyes, biting his nails like a nervous rat, watching on like a cat eating a fellow rat. With a cry he ran off, hoping to find Remus and Sirius.

Crabbe reached down, his beefy fingers wrapping around James' collar and he easily lifted the boy off the ground. Already James nose was broken, some of the shards from his glasses lodged in his eyes and several bruises.

"What do you want to do with him Malfoy?" Crabbed asked, stupidly.

"I want you to beat him till he cries for mercy, don't even stop to take a break," Lucius laughed. James squeezed his eyes shut, knowing well that he was pushing the shards in further but the onslaught that came raining down upon him made him forget that pain. Lucius wanted him to cry out but he never would, no matter what!

He was a Marauder after all, brave till the long and drawn out end. A large crack was echoed as many of the bystanders winced and screamed. James immediately felt his jaw break, and it hang open like a fish out of water.

"I want you to kill him, make him suffer, wish he had never been born!" Lucius yelled, looking quite deranged. A sudden push sent him flying and he realized that it was Sirius.

"Get the fuck off of him or I will make you!" He screamed, unbelievably pissed off and scared for his best friend. Lucius laughed from underneath him, reaching up and taking hold of Sirius' long hair, making a tight grip and bringing Sirius slowly down so that their noses were touching.

"I told them not to stop until he was dead Black, and believe me, they won't," he said maliciously. Sirius was now shaking in anger, ready to throw his own before Lucius reached up and took his lips, kissing him harshly.

"I would love to fuck you Black, right in front of Lupin too," he said. Sirius struggled as he was kissed again, rolling himself off of the other boy making enough room between them for him to catch his breath. Remus ran forward, grabbing Sirius with worry in his gaze.

"**_Sirius, are you alright? He didn't hurt you did he?" _**Remus asked, frightened out of his mind.

"I'm fine Remus, but go help James, I can handle this asshole," Sirius gasped, still beyond sickened that LUCIUS MALFOY had KISSED HIM! Remus nodded hesitantly, taking out his wand and getting ready to cast a spell when he stopped.

"_You have no voice for a reason boy! I want you telling no one that you need help! I never want you to help anyone either!" His father screamed._

Remus shrunk away, lowering his wand and began to shiver, suddenly feeling ghost like fingers tracing him –almost in a memory. Turning around he noticed that Sirius was pinned under Lucius, his shirt being slowly torn off and James, under Crabbe and Goyle and already unconscious but still getting beaten. Peter was hiding behind the frightened onlookers, looking just as scared.

"_I'll give back your voice Remus if you promise to never help or be helped in return. We despise the word."_

**I want my voice back, I want it back! **Remus thought desperately. **That is why I must detach myself from everyone, even my friends.**

Trembling, he put his wand back into his pocket, shaking with every fiber of his being.

"_I'll know when you disobey me Remus," he whispered delicately. "Punishment is always a key essential in parenting." Nothing but a dry chuckle to follow the words._

A sudden whoosh of air caught him by surprise and he was flung back as a fist connected to his cheek. Landing near some of the on lookers, feeling with delicate fingers his cheek. Frowning in actual annoyance he stood up, feeling bubbling anger strike him with a force that he had never felt before.

Growling in anger, he stood up, striding over to Crabbe and grabbing his shoulder. With a spin the other boy was now facing him and it was apparent that he was scared by the look on the smaller ones face.

"**_YOU BASTARD!" _**His mental screech echoed through everyone's minds, causing them massive headaches. Sirius covered his ears while still trying to push Malfoy off. Looking over he noticed that Remus had started wailing on Crabbe, the younger boy giving most powerful attacks.

"Don't take your eyes off of me Black," a lustful whisper sounded from above him. With a yelp his shirt was torn open, Lucius feeling everywhere that showed to him.

"Get off me Malfoy!" Sirius yelled, panic dripping into his words. He didn't want to be touched like this by a Slytherin, much less a Malfoy! Lucius swooped down, immediately his mouth going to one Sirius' nipples, teasing it with his mouth till he felt it harden under his touch. Going to the other one he repeated the other process until he heard something peculiar inside his head. It was like a mental growl but somehow detached to a more physical manner.

"**_I suggest you release him, before I literally force you," _**it sounded like a deadly bomb ready to go off and Lucius knew that the owner was not happy. Looking up he was shocked to see that it was Remus, standing above him and looking so deadly that it was unbelievable. With careful movements he slid off of the boy beneath him and stood back, allowing Remus to drag Sirius away from him.

"R-Remus, I thought you were helping James?" Sirius asked, a little embarrassed that he had been beaten by a Malfoy. Remus ignored him, stepping forward with a mental growl.

"**_Get out of here Malfoy," _**it was a deadly whisper, one that could freeze a ghost. Lucius looked at the scene with a ticking mind, noting that Crabbe and Goyle were having trouble picking themselves up. With a sneer he beckoned for his goons to follow and he left, leaving the bystanders to release the air they were holding. Remus silently turned to Peter and glared harshly, clearly telling the boy that he was not wanted now. Turning to Sirius he tilted his head towards James, who was lying on his side and bleeding heavily.

"Oh gods James," Sirius whispered, running forward and picking him up, walking towards the Hospital Wing. Remus followed silently, an emotionless mask on his face.

-------------

Sirius wiped that tears from his face, sniffling as Remus sat by him, stiff as a board. With a sob he rested his head on Remus' shoulder, not caring that he was crying anymore. Remus still sat strait, looking up as Madam Pomfrey entered.

"Well, Mr. Potter had the glasses removed from his eyes, but he will be temporarily blind. He is comatose from the onslaught of damage he had received. It is still uncertain when he will awaken but we hope it will be soon. For now all we can do is wait," she looked sympathetic and sat down next to Sirius, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry Mr. Black everything will be fine, it was just unfortunate is all."

Looking up he nodded shortly before both Remus and he exited to the go to the common room of Gryffindor Tower.

-------------

"You hesitated in helping him Remus," Sirius growled suddenly. "You only fought those idiots when they hit you." Remus didn't respond, but just kept on walking. Sirius stopped in his tracks, anger written on his face as Remus stopped too but did not turn to look at him.

"That bruise on your cheek," Sirius said quietly. "I hope it hurts you. Remus you are such a coward." Still there was no reaction.

"Are you that conceited? Are you that stupid? Leaving your friend there to get the crap beat out of him and only going to help when it finally involves you!" Sirius was at boiling point. What made him even more angry was that Remus still stood there, quiet as ever and looking strait ahead. He thought he would see the shaking of Remus' shoulders if the boy was crying but that was clearly not the case.

"When we find out James is in a coma you don't shed one tear, do you," Sirius stated. Remus continued looking straight ahead, his eyes uncaring.

"You, Remus Lupin, are an idiot; you continue to say you are nothing like Moony, but you are, a selfish, uncaring monster that would rather fill his stomach with whatever he can find, not caring who he steps on or destroys," Sirius growled. He didn't know why he was so mad, he completely forgot a long time ago, but he wanted a reaction out of Remus.

"No, Moony is better, you aren't Moon, and you are exactly like your father!" He yelled. A sudden impact sent him spiraling. Looking up, he was staring into glassy amber eyes, filled with such hurt and betrayal it was almost a sea.

"**_As easily said as looking into a mirror Sirius Black!" _**Remus growled. **_"There you bastard, I'm crying, that's what you wanted wasn't it!" _**Shaking, Remus stood back, covering his eyes desperately with his hands, his shoulders shaking insoundless sobs.

"Rem, I-I didn't mean that," Sirius whispered, crawling towards the younger boy. Remus lashed out blindly, trying to keep the other from approaching him.

"Rem, Remmie, I am so sorry, I am, really I am," he said quietly, holding Remus close.

"**_I want my voice back Sirius," _**Remus sobbed. Sirius sat silent, unsure how to answer that.

---**TBC---**

**Long chapter, Yay! Not as long as my other ones but still! I'm not tired anymore! Yay!**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, Mpreg(?), and Voldemort being weird.  
**Summary: **Seventh year has begun and Remus comes back completely different. He is cold, distant, depressed, and uncaring. Something happened to him and the Marauders are determined to find out.

**Notes: **Long wait on this one, but the spark to write suddenly got lit up again! So, in happiness of this I am also going to post a chapter of another story tomorrow. If I don't….yell at me or something. But you can decide what it will be, I'm too lazy. So anyway, this story will turn very violent very fast. Sirius goes through a problem in this one. Anyway, the story is alive once more! Celebrate by reading!

Gaspeth! On with the story!

**WARNING: Incest is in the italics part, which is Sirius' dream. So if you don't like it, don't read it, just Remus' dad being weird!**

---Chapter Four---

One week had passed and James was finally released from the hospital wing with multiple bandages over his eyes. Sirius took the liberty to guide him everywhere, the worry never leaving him. James, though slightly afraid, never lost his confidence in Sirius, even when the other boy accidentally slammed into a wall. Sure it hurt, but what the hay! That wasn't his thought when he had first woken up though. He had cursed himself for being so weak, cursed Malfoy for playing such a dirty trick and cursed his very stupidity.

Rubbing his eyes unconsciously, he looked in the direction of the common room fire, wishing he could see the crackling flames. Sighing, his hands groped for a second before they set on the arm rest of the couch, staying there for a second before dropping to his side again. If anything came from this, his hearing got to be as good as Remus used to claim. So, he was able to hear the approaching footsteps.

The person smelled like flowers.

_Not Remus or Sirius then. Could it be Peter?_

"Potter?"

Ah, it was Evans.

"Yes, Evans, what is it?" He asked, amazing even himself at how he didn't try and flirt. The voice of his crush stumbled over the words a bit before falling silent. A weight to his side made him look in that direction.

"I'm sorry," her voice was soft, almost uncertain. He could feel a chuckle escape his throat.

"You didn't do anything that I know of, so why be sorry?" His vice, to him, sounded wary and on edge. He heard a soft sigh escape from the young woman next to him. Cocking his head slightly, he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry because…this shouldn't have -er, you didn't deserve this," she whispered. "It was wrong of Malfoy."

He could almost imagine those emerald orbs holding worry. What made the picture better was the fact they were pointed at him for once. Before anything had happened; a word, or even a movement, he had begun to cry, the tears soaking the cloth around his eyes. He was amazed that even his useless eyes could shed a tear. Evans made a sound next to him before hands had come to rest on the bandage end.

"May I?" She asked. Her voice was strong.

"Yeah," he choked, throwing the embarrassing thoughts of crying out of his head. Slowly the bandages were coming undone until the cold feeling came to his eyes. Funny, he still couldn't see a thing.

"Your eyes are still bright," she said softly, a careful observation. He stiffened.

"So they will heal then?" He asked softly. She didn't respond, but instead leaned in so he was allowed to feel her smile.

"I've always hated you, Potter," she said suddenly, her lips still against his face. "But, after this, I realized that you could have died. Something happened inside of me. Something important."

"What was it?" He asked.

"You have loved me since we first met, and I've pushed you away to the point that I loved it…not in a sadistic way, but a way to know that you were always there," she said. "When I heard about this, my mind couldn't come into strait thoughts."

"I can still feel your smile," he spoke suddenly. "So please continue."

"I'm not sure whether this is sorrow or love," she finished. He could suddenly feel her tears against his. Shaking his head he pulled back, missing briefly the warmth. Looking in her direction he grinned stupidly, handing her the bandages.

"As much as I love this confession Evans," he said, feeling her redo the bandages. "This is only pity."

He sighed, standing up on curiously weak legs. Feeling around he made his way up to the dorms, leaving a crying Lily behind.

-------------------

_He was dreaming, or else he wouldn't be seeing Remus' father through his own eyes._

_So this must be Remus._

_He was walking towards a doorway, he couldn't tell to what room, only that his pace was fast and rushed. He was almost there. Almost to freedom._

"_Remus, no going outside without your collar," a gruff voice was speaking and he turned around to see who it was. It was Remus' father, the man he had been looking at when the dream started._

"_Father…I assure you I was only going to sit on the porch," he was speaking, through his own lips but his voice was coming out soft and delicate. It was Remus' voice, the gentle voice that spoke to him when he was troubled. The voice that was gone. His eyes were looking away, at the carpet._

"_You forgot to beg, like your mother," the man laughed. His blood was boiling, but he remained silent, getting down on his knees and bowing in front of the man. His shirt collar was lifted up until a leather belt was wrapped tightly against his neck; a collar. _

_His face reddened, or more, Remus' face reddened as the embarrassment began to kick in._

"_May I go out now sir?" He was asking. Remus' father was looking at him again. Then he laughed, and it made him quiver._

"_Say hello to your mother when your out there," he laughed. "She does love the doghouse."_

_His fists were shaking so harshly, and he felt like he was going to cry. Nothing came, and he was going towards the back door again. A large hand grabbed his upper arm and pulled him back again._

"_What is it father?" He was asking like this was a boring subject, but the fear was licking him inside out._

"_Nothing, just reminding myself of how my spawns can be so beautiful," he whispered. "Just like your brother."_

Sirius snapped into the waking world with a scream.

----------------

Remus glanced up from his position at the library table. A presence was watching him like a hawk. Sighing, he went back to reading, ignoring the swift feet coming towards him. They were closing in; acting like Remus had not noticed them yet.

"Lupin, looking lovely as ever, I hear your father trained you well," the voice snickered.

Malfoy. Was he ALWAYS around?

Closing the book he stood up, ignoring the very boys presence. A hand grabbed onto his shoulder, stopping him from putting the book away.

"You know, your father invited the Malfoy's to his house for dinner next weekend, he said you would be there as well," Lucius sneered. "The entertainment." Remus blinked slowly, not looking away from the bookcase. Lucius twirled a strand of honey brown hair between his fingers, relishing in the stiffening posture.

"My father tells me you were punished with your voice too, so if something," -he grabbed Remus' chest, pulling him towards the taller- "were to happen," he whispered, "no one would hear a thing."

Still no response, not even a struggle.

Remus closed his eyes, his fists shaking raggedly, as if not used to the movement.

"Boys!" Madam Pince shrieked. "No inappropriate behavior in my library!" Lucius released the other and smirked before leaving, Remus however stayed. Going to the book he began to read again, getting lost in the world of Merlin's time.

----------------------

Sirius threw the water into his face, his hand groping towards the toilet flusher. Choking again he pushed down, the vomit going down the drains. Collapsing on the ground he began to shake very violently. Pulling at his hair he waited until his breathing was normal again before standing up, praying that he made it to his bed. Then again, there was vomit on that.

His knees buckled and his face was against the cool tile of the bathroom floor. Closing his eyes he relished the feeling against his burning face until the dorm room door opened from behind his closed door. Turning his head he heard a soft gasp and a tripping sound before on object fell to the ground.

"Damn trunk." The voice said loudly. It was James.

Sirius whimpered, wishing that he could help his friend but his legs were still so weak. Gripping the tile he pushed himself up, shaking his head from the dizziness again before stumbling towards the door.

Opening the curiously heavy door he looked out, finding his friend groping around. Sighing he cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the blind young man. James turned towards the sound.

Smelled like vomit.

"Remus?" Why would he guess that right away?

"Guess again," Sirius said softly, his voice sketchy. James' ears perked slightly before holding out his hand, smiling when Sirius took it.

"Just my luck my bed is the furthest away," James grinned. Sirius nodded as he led his best friend towards his bed. It was then he noticed that James' bandages looked redone and wet.

"What happened to you down there?" He asked, sitting them down both on the bed.

"Ev-Lily practically confessed her love to me, and well, I rejected," James said softly. Sirius blinked, looking at his own hands for a moment.

"Love is-doesn't exist," Sirius spoke. James looked at him.

"What about Remus?" The messy haired man asked. Sirius blinked before shaking his head, knowing that James couldn't see it.

"He…has his problems that don't concern me," Sirius said, his voice cracking. Was he going to start crying again?

"I see."

"Yep."

"Maybe love doesn't exist after all," James whispered. "Maybe I was freakishly obsessed with Lily instead, convincing myself it was love." Sirius couldn't find it in him to disagree.

"The same with Remus, that's why, I'm going to end it with him…tonight," Sirius said. James looked at him.

"Whatever Sirius, if Remus wants it too," he said. Sirius barked out, his laugh sounding strange to his ears.

"Remus doesn't know what he wants," he said. James felt like crying again.

"I guess you're right."

----------------------

Remus stood outside the dorm door, listening to the conversation quietly. He didn't even notice the tears. After all, he still loved Sirius, more than anything….but clearly the other doesn't feel the same. Remus stifled a sob, biting his lip and waiting until both boys in the room had gotten finished speaking. Walking forward, his hands froze on the handle of the door.

Should he enter? Should he run?

_The back door is always right there in front of me._

That meant freedom. Was this the same with Sirius? Would he finally be free from the boy he loved?

_An escape always right there, so far from him but so close to the one who controlled him._

Shaking his head Remus pulled the door open to meet Sirius and James sitting on one of the beds. Maybe James'? Sirius looked up at him from his position and he walked towards Remus, his steps confident.

_Freedom, so far._

His hand gripped the door handle as Sirius came towards him. He looked like a threat and Remus stepped back from him.

"Remus," he sighed, wrapping his arms around the small frame. He noticed how it stiffened considerably, like he was about to be hurt. In a way, Sirius knew he was.

_Speaking pain is the only way I can talk. But does it bring me further from what I want? Or closer?_

_What DO you want?_ He thought suddenly.

"I think we need to end it," Sirius was speaking in that hurtfully harsh voice again. Remus stood frozen, wondering if he was reacting too harshly. Sirius would expect better from him. Maybe he didn't need to respond. The taller boy was looking at him now, searching him. Remus grew nervous, hand tightening on the door handle.

Closing his eyes, he felt sick, like the world was crashing around him and he didn't even have the power to stop it. Opening them again, he felt himself falling on the ground, no one, just like at home, catching him.

**---TBC---**

**Bad place to end I know, but thank you all who like this story, especially the ones who have read A Werewolf's Bond. My first story, since then you have all stuck by my crazes! Next chapter is…something, you have to wait and see. Decide on what story you want updated tomorrow.**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, and Voldemort being weird.  
**Summary: **Seventh year has begun and Remus comes back completely different. He is cold, distant, depressed, and uncaring. Something happened to him and the Marauders are determined

**Notes: **Okay, most didn't respond, but the ones who did said this one and any other story. So here I am, coming to bring into the world of the real angst. So, in the reviews I was very surprised that no one did that stupid "ew incest!" sort of thing. I am so proud of my grown up readers. (o)

Gaspeth! On with the story!

---Chapter Five---

Waking up did not come easy to Remus. His head was pounding and his stomach felt like they were doing impossible flip-flops. Opening his eyes, he noticed that no one was around his bedsides, happily greeting him into consciousness. Looking around he noticed he was in the hospital wing. Sitting up, Remus glanced at his surroundings, noticing that the hospital wing looked a little different; there was no one in sight.

Opening his mouth, Remus grabbed his throat, wincing at the burning pain he felt. Right, he still had no voice.

Getting up from the bed, he walked to the entryway, his hands lingering on the door handle.

He felt like he was in the situation before…but where? Realization seemed to hit Remus like a sack of bricks as the memories of the night before came crashing in on him. Shuddering he shook his head, swallowing hard. Opening the door he stepped out, looking around. Funny, this wasn't Hogwarts. Looking around his eyes fell on the courtyard, where a little house was sitting.

His mother's home.

_How did I get here? _He thought, walking over to look into the window. The cobwebs and blood made seeing through the window hard. But sure enough, he could see the crouching form of his mother, the woman shivering with fright and cold. Come to think of it, she caught the flu recently. Biting his lip he looked away, fingering his neck, finally taking notice that he had no collar on.

Then where was his brother.

Looking towards the house he noticed the back door was open and swinging carelessly, the breeze blowing inside. Funny, his father always kept it closed. He always wanted Remus to be near him.

"My boy, mylastsonfinallycametoseemebutI-Isoncamedon'tknowsay," his mother mumbled from the inside of the small house. "My boy."

Remus wished more than anything he could respond to her, so instead he smiled at her and went to the door, watching in amazement at how it opened. Reaching out his hand he held it out to her, hoping for those withered hands to take it. Her eyes looked at him, searching until her hand reached for his, only brushing her fingers over it.

She began to mumble again, pressing her cheek against his warm flesh. She was smiling, for all the years he had known her she never smiled. He couldn't help but grin back at her. She finally looked like the woman she was supposed to be, not some doll.

No, the only doll in the household was him.

Remus pulled back from her, the flash in her eyes almost making him go back. Shaking his head he stood up again, looking towards his home. Someone was standing there, looking at him from the doorway. Turning fully to see, he noticed it was him, when he was little. Another boy was standing next to him, holding onto his hand. They looked exactly alike.

"Remus, mama is out there again," the other boy said.

"Why does daddy put mommy out there anyway?" He was asking. The other boy laughed, tugging on the young Remus' sleeve. His young self was clutching a teddy bear to his chest, shaking his head.

"Come on Remus, are you scared?" The other was asking. Remus blinked at his young self, wondering what he was going to say. Then again, this felt like a distant memory all on its own.

"Papa will get angry," his young self whispered. The other was getting angry.

"He hurts us Remus; don't you want to run away from here?" His look alike was getting feverish. Young Remus looked at his teddy bear and then at his other.

"He said it was natural Romulus," Remus spoke. "He said that when we are good, we can come outside, and play together. He says he wants to watch us grow." Romulus was shaking his head, looking towards the little house the older Remus was standing in front of. His eyes were looking strait into his.

"Do you always believe what he says?" Romulus asked.

"I know what I want to do with my life Romulus," Remus said heatedly.

"You don't know what you want Remus!" Romulus yelled, shoving his little brother to the ground. "What will become of you when you finally have to make a choice? What will you chose!"

"Romulus…I don't have to make that choice yet," he squeaked, covering his face when Romulus went to hit him. The blow never came. Opening his eyes he noticed that his brother was frozen in place, looking down at him with blank eyes.

"Now that's what happens to free people," his fathers voice spoke. Both Remus' turned around to see their father standing in the doorway of the back door, smirking down at him. Young Remus looked back up at his brother, watching in horror as his brothers body crumbled to the ground, uselessly.

"Father w-what happened –why, what happened to him?" His young form choked.

"I killed him boy, that's what happened," his father laughed. "Now get up Remus John Lupin, I'm afraid your little adventure out here will give you the collar."

"But father!" He protested weakly, struggling a little when his father grabbed his upper arm, yanking him into the large arms. Remus reached out his hand, trying to stop his father, but the collar was clicked on. The older Remus glanced inside of the little house behind him to see his mother's wide, insane eyes. She was screaming for her boys.

The young Remus was carried back into the house, his bear and brother forgotten. Remus blinked back the tears, numb legs moving to where his brother was lying, face first in the dirt. Turning over his brother he frowned at the blank eyes. Shaking his head he straightened up, his head moving to where his mother was still screaming out in agony.

Closing his ears he noticed that he was fading. Panicking, Remus rubbed at himself, watching in horror when the process sped up. Looking up, he was met with another version of himself, except older, around thirteen.

He was in his room.

"Sirius is beautiful, Sirius is kind, Sirius IS love," the other was speaking to a sheet of paper. He was smiling. Remus blinked, looking at his younger form more closely, inspecting it. He was thinner, but was definitely lighter in attitude and personality. His other was looking down from the window, a frown coming to his face.

"Sirius is…out of my league," he sighed, defeated.

"Remus, are you dreaming again?" His father asked from behind him. Remus turned, looking slightly sad at the sight of him.

"Not very much papa," he said softly, giving a smile. His father came over, looking out the window where his younger self was previously looking. Remus looked at them both before glancing out the window himself. They were looking at a lump in the ground, where grass had completely covered. It was where his brother's body was laying.

"Why do you stare at that lump?" His father was asking.

"Because, it keeps calling to me, like something important is buried there, but I can't remember," young Remus said, not noticing the smirk on his fathers face.

"That is of no importance," his father said suddenly.

Silence, and then young Remus was speaking.

"If you say so," he replied.

Remus only had time to blink before he was waking up in front of Sirius.

**---TBC---**

**This was beyond short I know, but I'm typing on another computer, so it had to be rushed.**

**Sorry! Review!**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, and Voldemort being weird.  
**Summary: **Seventh year has begun and Remus comes back completely different. He is cold, distant, depressed, and uncaring. Something happened to him and the Marauders are determined

**Notes: **You know, the other one seemed rushed to me but you all seemed to like it. So, in honor of all of your guys' love, I will give you a little description of the chapter coming up. Sirius gets confronted with a group of Slytherins intent on finishing what they started with the marauders and a rogue spell goes horribly wrong. Remus contemplates what he wants most of all; his voice or Sirius, or whether he will be his fathers toy forever. James continues to suffer while Lily tries to help him again. Also, from John Lupin's point of view on where everything went wrong as he recalls every step of their lives from the twins birth to where he is now. So, shall we continue?

Gaspeth! On with the story!

---Chapter Six---

Sirius was thinking again. He found himself doing that a lot lately.

He couldn't remember the last time Remus had collapsed, but it certainly did not happen very often, especially in front of one of his friends. Sirius had been unable to catch his friend when he fell, and now he sat on the floor, Remus' head in his lap, contemplating when the other would wake up. Sighing, he brushed his hands over Remus' forehead, noticing how hot it felt.

It was after that Remus had snapped his eyes open, looking around the room in a feverish effort to gather his surroundings. Sirius bit his lip, waiting for Remus to calm down before hoisting him up, carrying him over to the respective bed. The young man didn't give even a glimmer of protest. Looking into amber eyes, he smiled, hoping to give comfort to the smaller one.

"Hey, you scared me, how are you feeling?" He asked, looking into Remus' eyes for a response.

_Remember the reason you consulted him Black, you have to end it with him._

Remus wasn't responding, his eyes slowly steeling over into a glossy wall of nothing. Sirius' smile ceased and he looked away, suddenly ashamed.

"I suppose, I am the reason you collapsed in the first place," he said softly. "But Remus, we need to end it, there are just too many problems with us both."

Nothing, no flicker of anything. Sirius was beginning to feel like the smaller man wasn't even there anymore.

"We-I can't support you anymore," Sirius said, feeling a deep urge to blame it on Remus. "You have problems I can't control and that-that…"

"Scares you," James spoke from behind him and he noticed for once the looming presence behind him. Remus was looking at James now, slowly his eyes seeping into the blindfold around the others eyes. Sirius gave a defeated sigh, shaking his head and letting his bangs obscure his vision. Who knew seventh year would go so wrong with everyone.

"I'm sorry Remus, I think we should all go to bed now," Sirius said quickly, shuffling over to his bed. Looking at the mess, he grimaced, waving his wand and watching as the blob of vomit disappeared. Sighing, he laid down, not even bothering to change into his pajamas. Strangely enough, he knew he was running away, but he couldn't help but feel scared. It hurt.

Was it because he couldn't help, or because he refused to help?

Closing his eyes, Sirius began to dream.

-------------------

_He was looking through Remus' eyes again, though this time they weren't clear. They were blurry, like he was crying._

_Wait; because his father had raped him again, that's why he was crying._

"_A toy, nothing but a toy for him, he tells me I'm special," he was speaking, a mumbling, and quick voice. "Help me somebody, mommy, I want to leave I want…Sirius." Why was he saying his name in third person? Oh yeah, this was Remus. Suddenly, the door blew open, a very tall and very threatening man standing in the doorway. His father._

_He turned around, covering his face immediately._

"_YOU LITTLE BEAST!" _

"_No papa, please don't!"_

_Sirius knew where he was now, in the living room, he had seen this before. Everything perfectly set and looking like they were expecting guests. Looking through Remus eyes he grew terrified as a thin piece of silver was gripped in his father's hand. He gasped, feeling the burning sensation on his throat._

"_You cursed child! You wretched beast! No one will ever hear that voice again! Ever!" His father bellowed, and Sirius felt the burning on his throat again, this time kept there until his vision swam. With a cry of rage his father whipped out his wand, screaming things he couldn't understand. A blue jet stream of light smacked into his throat, sucking out the voice within. He touched his throat in horror._

_He was sobbing, but nothing seemed to come out. His body froze in terror as a laugh rang out in the room, allowing him to look up, despite himself. His father, the one that was supposed to love him, was laughing at his pain._

_He dropped his head, tears falling onto the carpet in little droplets._

"_Try running like that again Remus," his father was speaking again. "And it will be more than your voice that is taken." Swallowing hard, he began to shiver, and even though Sirius knew this wasn't happening directly to him, he felt sullied and destroyed just the same._

"_Everyone will be punished for your action," that voice was so rough and scary. "I control everything, and even the Malfoy's have to bow to me eventually."_

_Remus -no, Sirius, this was him- was blinking. Malfoy? Remus was looking up again, when a hand had dipped down to bring him to face the horrid man._

"_Four years ago you asked about that lump in the backyard." Remus was unconsciously shaking his head, Sirius feeling the exact same fear. "I think it's about time I showed you what it is."_

_He was so scared. He was struggling against the hold that lifted him to his feet and began dragging him towards the door. Stepping outside, his father pulled over to the lump, almost completely unseen now. Shaking his head he watched as his father pushed aside the vines and grass and the mound of dirt, only to reveal a rotting corpse. Sirius couldn't even believe what Remus must have felt, to see his decaying look a like lying in the dirt._

"_Don't you see," the voice whispered in his ear. "This will be you, unless you behave. I'm afraid your brother was not so fortunate." _

_So many things flashed his mind at once, so many feelings, moments, actions. He was falling into consciousness. _

Sirius sat strait upright, eyes wide and searching, unable to get the corpse out of his mind.

-------------------

Sirius walked down the halls, wandering aimlessly. After waking up to find that it was only one in the morning, he thought a walk would do him good. He didn't even think, just kept walking, not knowing if he would get caught or not. A sick part of him wished he did, hoping that he could be even more miserable. Shaking his head he continued to walk, smacking strait into a wall.

"Ouch…" he muttered, rubbing his nose. Looking up, he stared at the wall, wondering if he needed to get up and move on or just sit there. Well, the voice from behind him answered that one.

"Well Black, see you are still up to no good, even after midnight," Malfoy's voice drawled. Sirius blinked, looking behind him with disconcert. He felt so tired, too weak to fight with his enemy now. Looking towards the wall again, he felt a strange sort of annoyance and fear at the same time, an interesting combination for someone with his personality.

Malfoy didn't even respond, walking up to him and clapping his hands next to his ear. Sirius blinked up at him, mouth forming a nice retort when a strange sense of silence crept up on him, leaving his voice blank.

"Not going to say anything? Well then, I'll have you know Goyle and I have been preparing a spell," Lucius snickered. "And well, you just happen to be here."

Alarm bells were going off inside Sirius' head and a strange sense of weakness kept him from saying anything. And why the hell was he still looking at the wall? When a flash of light caught his eye, he turned, just in time to be swallowed by it.

_Perfect, _he thought tiredly. _A backfired spell to make my day._

-------------------------

Remus was wide awake, unmoving, even after he heard Sirius leave the dorms to do god knows what. He knew for a fact James was wide awake too, staring in the direction of the window. Shrugging, he sat up, blinking away the persistent sleepiness. Getting out of bed he walked down to the common room, sitting in front of the dying fire. Maybe, things were meant to be like this. Maybe, it was the fate of a monster.

After all, who could truly love a werewolf? He had been fooling himself, when he thought Sirius had truly accepted him in a lover's way. Remus didn't know why he kept falling for this. His father would always whisper his love to him, and Remus always felt himself listening and smiling. He felt…wanted, cared for, needed…only to have it shot back in his face when he was screaming for his father to stop. Over and over again, why wouldn't the screaming stop?

Remus wiped at the tears, shaking his head and pulling his knees closer to him, hugging and leaning on them, his face buried. Why do people say they love him but shoot it back into his face? Why him? Doesn't the lonely werewolf get a chance at love, like everyone else? He was tired of thinking this way, tired of being tricked into believing someone actually _cared_ about him. He was so sick of the tears that always seemed to pop up when he didn't want them. He was so tired of having unnatural things about him; his strength, his eyes, his personality. Remus always thought about running away, and when he finally did, when he finally mustered up the courage to tell the police on what his father had been doing, they shoved it back into his face with a laugh and sent him right back home. No one even cared. No one even bothered to care, like it was a simple waste of their energy and time to set aside for a boy in need of something, anything, to tell him that their were people that wanted him there.

Now he wasn't even sure what he wanted. Everything became so muddled in his time of need. But…this could also be his fault too. He had pushed Sirius' help away to the point that his friend had given up hope, believing that everything was pointless. He had caused that burning in the young man's eyes to go out. The flame that made him different from his family. The flame that, despite many disappointments, always came back with ten times the strength it used to. Maybe Remus had taken advantage of Sirius' love to a point that the young man was far too gone in misery to even come back. To even begin to light that passion fire again.

Remus blew it, and somehow, deep inside, that hurt worse than his lifestyle. He had wanted his voice so bad that he turned a blind eye to Sirius, the man that would give up his life to help. He ignored Sirius' pleas, became deaf to them, he blinded Sirius' love, making him unable to see, and he even muted Sirius' open arms, making them unable to cry their way out of the dark.

Was that the double edged punishment his father had given him? Remus recalled a time where his father had shown him three monkeys that sat on top of his study desk.

"Hear no evil." He had pointed to the one covering its ears.

"See no evil." He continued to the next one, covering its eyes.

"And speak no evil." He said, while directing Remus to the final one, which was covering its mouth. "These represent the perfect punishment."

_The perfect punishment._

Remus blinked at the flames, suddenly everything becoming clear. James was blinded, so he wouldn't be able to see if Remus would be in danger. And he couldn't talk, so he would never be able to tell a soul about his pain. So that left…

"Hear no evil," Remus said suddenly. "Sirius." Almost as an earthquake hitting the Middle East, Remus' hands shot to his throat, a look of pure surprise on his features. Getting up he ran out of the Gryffindor Tower.

_I have to find Sirius._

----------------------

John Lupin, if anything, was deemed a savior to the ministry and people as a whole, but a devil in the eyes of the people that cared about him most. His beautiful, perfect son, that was too innocent about anything, was finally able to see the world for what it truly was. John couldn't help but laugh. After all, a parent was meant to help their children, not be the ones to actually show them how cruel life could actually be. A brief sense of guilt had made its way into the pit of his stomach, where he quickly squashed it like a persistent bug.

He didn't know where everything went wrong, just that, when his sons were first born, they had been the light of his life, his gift from the lord almighty, a sign of deep love to his beloved wife. Anya Lupin was a true gift, with her gentle looks and subtle but powerful flirts. That was what drew him to her and she never resisted. Gods she was so beautiful, so kind, so gentle, and so willing to give her whole heart to him.

John continued to wind the magic around the three monkeys on the study desk, smiling to himself as the threads were nearly done around the deaf monkey.

He could recall everything, having a photographic memory.

"_Twins, I never even knew," John breathed, holding the twins gently, smiling at them. Anya smiled at him so beautifully, he felt his heart melt. She was looking at him, though tired from the child birth her eyes held such devotion he could feel the tears in his eyes._

"_Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Let's name them that," she suggested, eyes drooping slightly. John kissed Remus on the forehead, then Romulus, who giggled like mad at the contact._

"_Of course, you did all the work," he said. "I love you so much, but now you just have to make room for these two." She stuck her tongue out playfully._

"_Oh pooh, and I thought you could be all mine forever," she giggled. It was like music to his ears._

"_They are a symbol of our love," he said strongly. She smiled, giving a large yawn._

"_Yes, that makes them…perfect," she said softly. He grinned at her, setting the twins down in her arms._

"_You should get some sleep," he said softly. "You worked so hard, I have never been more proud of you." Anya yawned again, her body shivering._

"_Yeah, and soon, we can go home together," she whispered. "The four of us."_

"_Gods I can never fully express how beautiful you are," he sighed, almost like a love sick teenager. _

"_Then, I am your light," she said, her eyes closed. "And you are mine."_

"_Of course," he replied, sitting next to her bedside. Sighing he laid his head on the bed, closing his eyes and joining her in sleep._

Things had been perfect back then, and John picked away at a random stain on his desk. Of course, back then he thought everything would be perfect. John couldn't help but scoff at his foolish self, that young form that thought the world was perfect. Though, the world seemed to have enough of babying him after a while, John mused silently. Must have definitely stopped babying him.

"_I'm sorry, but Anya is a bit sick right now," he said, speaking into the phone, gripping it like a lifeline. "Yes, of course, I'll check the mail everyday for your get well card. Of course- no, that's not, well she has something -excuse me? No, more permanent than the…flu. Yes, I know, I'll manage. Okay ma, bye." He hung up the phone, sighing shakily. _

_Walking into the living room he grinned at the twins. They were playing with the Lego's he had bought them, making castles and trying to knock the others down. Romulus threw his hands up in the air when he managed it. Remus pouted, hugging his teddy bear close._

"_Rommy, you cheated!" He said defiantly. After all, he always lost to his older brother. _

"_You're just jealous Remmie," he said, sticking out his tongue. He looked up when John had entered the room. "Papa!" _

_Remus stayed put, just staring at his father as Romulus hugged the man deeply, getting a hug in return. John smiled, patting the young boy on the head before going upstairs, squeals of delight being left behind. He walked to the end of the hall where the guest room was; where Anya was lying sick._

_Sucking in a breath he opened the door, stifling a choked cry at the air of death in the room. She was dying, and he knew it._

"_John, is that you?" She asked weakly, coughing slightly at the strain. Sitting down next to her he bowed his head, kissing her deeply. _

"_How are you feeling today?" He asked. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes searching. _

"_You know the answer to that, I won't lie and tell you I'm fine," she spoke so softly he almost didn't catch it. How very much like her, never one to lie about her condition. Giving a shaky breath he laid his head down on her leg, resisting the urge to cry._

"_Don't cry, you know the doctor gave you fair warning it will be tomorrow," she said. Her hands were gliding over his hair, no matter how shaky the movements were, he found himself comforted. Reaching up, he kissed her again, marveling at how beautiful she still was._

"_I'll miss you so much," he choked, sobbing into her shirt. She continued to stroke his hair, humming a soft tune for him. Her voice was…gods he was going to miss it._

"_Remus knows, doesn't he," she said softly, keeping the conversation on a different path, though will eventually lead to this topic. He sighed softly, grabbing onto her hand like a lifeline._

"_Yes, whenever that boy is alone he will just cry until he falls asleep," John said. "Romulus knows too, but he doesn't dwell on it like Remus." Anya was staring out the window, a look of happiness on her face._

"_Erase their memories please," she said softly. "Of me. Erase their memories of me." John gaped at her._

"_You are their mother!" He hissed. "I can't do that!" Anya smiled to herself._

"_Do this John, it will help them in the end, besides, I made a spell," she said. "I-my illusion will keep you company."_

"_I don't want a fucking illusion Anya!" He said loudly, standing up. She grinned at him, the same goofy grin that used to cheer him up whenever he was sad._

"_Hush now, a living puppet will be put in my place," she whispered. "Nothing will go wrong, when I die."_

"_This IS wrong," John pleaded._

"_I can't stop the spell John," she said, this time more forcefully. Her face scrunched together and she got into a coughing fit, holding a hand over her mouth. John sighed, taking the glass of water and watching as she sipped it when the fit was over. He gingerly wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth and on her hand. _

"_Something is bound to go wrong," he pleaded once she was lying down again._

"_Remember to take you pills John, and everything will be fine," she responded. He bit his lip._

"_The fits don't happen anymore Anya," he said softly. She smiled at him, reaching out and stroking his hair again._

"_After a while you'll go insane John," she spoke, her voice soothing his nerves. "If you don't take those pills, I don't want you to hurt anyone." He nodded, smiling a bit as he laid his head down on her leg again, breathing in her smell one last time before he fell asleep._

He should have stopped her when he had the chance. Other wise, none of this would have happened. John cut the string around the deaf monkey, waving his wand around it in new movements. Gods, he should have persuaded her to stop earlier. That doll, gods that doll. He was forced to lock it in the shed after a while, as it made him…something John couldn't describe. That _thing _did something to him that even the pills couldn't correct. Anya had made such a gruesome mistake in making that thing. It was…evil.

_John shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the constant cloud that seemed to appear every time that THING was nearby. It did something, it made him hurt his sons, it made him hate Anya, it made him do things he didn't want to do. All with a flick of that devils wrist the haze was back, he, in the back of his mind, only briefly catching Remus and Romulus begging for him to stop…whatever it was that he was doing to them. _

_John let out a shaky breath as he stared out the window. He began to lock that beast in the tool shed outside of in back yard. It was…doing something to his head again. _

"_Papa, why is mama outside again?" It was Remus. That boy was too clever for his own good. Raising his head he winced at the sudden pain in his head. His son, he was…was just standing there, looking at him but…no, he was just standing there…planning to hurt him. Like he always did._

"_Because she likes it out there you wretched boy," John snarled. Gods why was he saying this stuff? His son was looking at him like he had just been slapped too. Looking down he shook his head again, staring down at the letter he was previously reading. _

_From Greyback, that monster who worked at the ministry. John snarled suddenly, a feeling of unpleasant things going into his head. It was that THING again, it was back in the house. Getting up he attached a message to his owl, sending it off to the ministry. Stiffening, he realized Remus was still standing there, watching him._

"_Honey, I think you should calm down," it was that horrid voice. Turning around he noticed she was holding Remus' shoulders, his son looking up at her curiously. Alarm bells were going off inside his head, and he stepped back, feeling that haze coming back to his mind. She was smiling at him, like she always did._

"_Get away from my son beast," he snarled, taking Remus by the wrist and protecting him with his body. Remus was looking between the two, his old teddy bear still stick to his chest like glue. _

"_Honey, you need to calm down now," she said again. She was still smiling damn it! She was raising her wrist again. He couldn't let that fog take over, every time it did, he would do something to either one of his sons. He hurt them, gods he didn't want to hurt them anymore. Remus suddenly clung to him, looking at him, those hazel eyes clearing the invading fog._

"_If you and mama keep fighting, I get hurt," he stated, smiling. "I don't want to be hurt anymore papa." John's eyes widened to considerable heights._

_That thing in the doorway was frowning, he could feel the disappointment radiating off of her. Remus hugged him tightly, bouncing slightly as a way to tell him that he wanted to be picked up. John grinned, complying to his sons wants and holding him close, balancing the five year old on his hip. Remus laid his head down on his shoulder, smiling to himself. _

_Frowning he saw that Anya's fake was gone, her footsteps going down the hall. His thoughts were jolted when his ear was being tugged, Remus looking at him._

"_Mama scares me papa, I don't like her anymore," he said. "She's really mean on the inside," -he pointed to where his heart was- "although she likes to be nice on the outside. Romulus doesn't believe me though." His son was smiling, like he just let go of some burdened news that had been bugging him forever. John kissed his forehead, sitting down at his desk with his youngest on his lap._

John paused in his work for a brief moment. He remembered that conversation, Remus being able to pinpoint a problem like radar. He was smiling at his sons abilities, but it wouldn't help, and deep down, he knew it. No matter how much he screamed for it to stop, SHE never quit in her acts.

"_Go away creature."_

"_I am your wife."_

"_No you aren't, now go away before I lock you up again."_

"_No matter what you do that spell Anya put on me will not allow you to be rid of me."_

"_I fucking know that woman."_

_They glared at each for a full five minutes before John growled, sitting down at the kitchen table, and ready for breakfast. He was so fucking sick of this woman. The spell Anya had cast horribly backfired, and he knew it. This thing was fully intending to use him to destroy the Lupin family. She was sitting across from him, a smile on her face._

"_That spell was her fault, she couldn't control her magic when being so weak," she whispered. "She wanted you to suffer though, thought it unfair why she was stuck with that disease and you weren't."_

"_That isn't true you lying filth," he snapped._

"_I hold all of her thoughts and memories, I can't lie when it comes to her, even if I wanted too," she hissed. "Jealousy, rage, sadness; that is what she is feeling at this very moment, all revolving around one John Lupin."_

"_You shut your mouth whore, I know that's a lie," he snarled. She grinned. That goofy grin that Anya used to make looked evil on this bitch's lips._

"_Don't snap at me just because you let OUR youngest son be the next victim to Greyback," she said softly. "The poor thing, I'm surprised he didn't die, takes after you more than I thought."_

"_You would be happy to see him die," John snarled._

"_Hardly, it's the other boy I despise, Anya never really liked Remus OR Romulus anyway," she sighed. He snarled, ignoring the itch to strangle her._

"_What happened to Remus is a tragedy," he spoke softly._

"_I call it a blessing."_

John shuddered briefly at the memory, and he continued to work on the statue monkey. His body, though not his mind, over the years came under the dolls complete control. Its full intent was to make Remus and Romulus suffer, but now that Romulus was dead…John shook the thought out of his head. Even his mind was slowly being molded over to nothing but thoughts of hurting, killing, and even torturing his remaining son. John's hands continued to move. He had given up resisting what she did to his body a long time ago in fact.

"_I wonder what Remus sounds like when he yells, and kicks, and thrashes around," she was speaking again._

"_Shut the fuck up woman," he was so tired of pointless name calling towards her. She swiveled around to him, a beautiful smile on her face to anyone but John._

"_He is turning out to be beautiful, like his father," she said, turning back to fiddle with the vase on a little stand. "Too bad that he believes whatever you tell him, such a loyal little bastard."_

"_My son is an honorable young man with a bright future, it would do you good to butt out woman," he snarled. She laughed, the sound going through his right ear and out the left, he was too used to hearing it after all._

"_He'll run away eventually, I hear Sirius Black is his boyfriend now, you should read his diary, it's fun," she snickered. "A fifteen year old completely smitten with someone of the same sex, I can't wait to find out how THAT one turns out." John twitched. _

"_You won't be finding out much now will you, it is his life and his alone, nothing you can do about it," he spoke. "Do not even try to mess with his love or I will finally kill you." _

"_You can't John! Get that through your head," she snapped. "Remus' love life is a whole other ball game for me to play in and I intend to be the home team." John remained silent, looking at his hands, not finding much else to do._

"_I thought I locked you in that dog house of yours," he said pathetically. She walked over to him, running her hands through his hair. He couldn't stop the shiver of dread._

"_You can't keep me in there forever," she said. The caressing hands seized and he looked over to find her fishing out something from a bag in the corner. _

"_What are you doing now wench?" He asked half heartedly._

"_I bought something, the perfect punishment," she said, setting down three monkey statues. One was blind, the other deaf, and one mute. She grinned at him, fingering the mute one curiously._

"_Don't you dare use this on Remus," he warned softly, knowing deep down that she was going to anyway. _

"_Only when he deserves it," she said._

John shook his head, his hand still working on the last monkey. He never thought she would be that cruel, her very essence seeping with malice. That night, when he had forced to magic the yarn around the mute monkey, crying desperately for her to stop. She smiled at him then, saying something about 'see no evil' or something. Why Remus? Why his precious son that had never done a bad deed in his life?

"_That little filth can think he can run away and go to the police!" She screamed, causing John to turn away from the noise. He cursed the wench in front of him for catching his son in the act. Using his body no less. Now, she was making his hands_ _wove something into the mute monkey. John was trying so hard to stop this but it was no good, she just, had a control over his body. _

"_Though I have noticed that you have been getting steadily weaker **Anya**," he bit out with a laugh that made her turn to him slowly._

"_You won't be laughing John, the spell that connects us will bring you to the grave with me, perhaps sooner," she said, eye gleaming. He grinned in satisfaction at the fact that she only had one eye, a cause from giving up magic to the blind monkey. She couldn't make her voice work on occasion for the magic she put in the mute monkey, and she was deaf in her left ear for putting magic in the 'hear no evil' monkey. She had told him that now they could be conductors for anything she wanted, and her price was small. _

"_It will be a blessing when I die, for the pain my son has gone through," John said, biting his lip. _

"_Now isn't it just great that it was pain you caused," she bit out scathingly. John choked, though the hands continued to move. His eyes began to leak tears. "What's better is that he'll forever think it was you."_

"_What do you have against my son?" He screeched. She turned to face him, her eyes dark._

"_He is a bug that needs to be squashed John, a threat to my existence, both of them still are," she snarled. _

"_Romulus," he murmured numbly. _

"_That pesky boy, even after death, he refuses to leave me alone, continuously trying to warn his stupidly oblivious brother," she snarled. "I promise to destroy them both!" John shook slightly, though his hands continued to work. With a stifled sob his hands finished with what they were doing as she sighed in accomplishment. _

"_Why does he have to suffer?" He asked meekly as she shoved a piece of silver in his hands. "Why Remus? He hasn't done a thing to you."_

"_I hate him, this entire family," she spoke, watching as he stood up and left the room. _

_Gods he was walking towards the sobbing, it was getting closer he was going to hurt his son again, why won't he stop? Slamming the door open he cried mentally at Remus, crouched on the floor, crying. Why was he yelling at Remus?_

"_No papa! Please don't!"_

_This was by far the worse thing a parent would ever have to go through. He was crying so hard even though Remus couldn't see it as he shoved the silver onto his throat a second time. If his body kept this up then…he would be mute. He didn't want that! Why wouldn't his body stop! Was he…casting a spell? Remus was sobbing pathetically on the floor, trying to speak._

_Gods he took his sons voice._

_Why did he do that?_

_Why was he walking away and leaving him so broken? Why was that THING smiling like it was the best thing in the world?_

_Why did he keep hearing Remus' crying voice in his head?_

The work was done; all of the statues in front of him were woven with magic even he didn't understand. She was standing in the corner, sighing in boredom. Smiling at him she walked over, placing a hazel ball in the blind monkey.

"James' sight," she said.

John shuddered.

"Sirius' hearing," why was she doing this to them?

"And finally, Remus' voice," she spoke. The little blue ball floated gracefully into the statue, without a struggle. He watched with despair.

"If these things are destroyed," he said. "Then everything will be normal." She frowned.

"Now I would hate to have someone do that, these were expensive," her voice carried an undertone of fear, something he didn't miss. He couldn't help but let out the laughter, something he had been wanting to do to her face for a long time. She only smiled back at him.

"It's passed midnight, dearest John, we should go to bed," she said. "The Malfoy's are coming over tomorrow, and Remus is going to be the guest of honor, with a few friends of course."

"Friends?" He asked. She smirked.

"Of course, Sirius and James. Wouldn't want our dear boy to be lonely when he dies," she said, relishing in the pained look he gave her.

"Please don't do this," he whispered pathetically.

"And you John," she said, ignoring his plea. "Are going to be the one that does it. The one to see him look at you when he finally dies."

John whimpered, walking out of the room and into bed. She was right behind him, getting into bed too. He shivered at the thought of tomorrow, hoping and praying time would stop before the dreaded day.

_Anya what did you create?_

A pained sob filled his head before he was sent off into the world of dreams.

----------------------

Remus couldn't remember the last time he felt so much panic. Probably, when he was first bitten but this was worse. This was…indescribable. The only time he stopped was when he saw Sirius lying a few feet away, unconscious and not moving. Why did he look so pale too?

Remus reached forward, taking the boy into his arms.

_Don't worry Sirius; there is no way I am going to screw up this time._

---**TBC---**

**Two more chapter before this story is done. Oh yeah, plus the epilogue with good old make out scenes! So yeah, next chapter is the James and Lily moment, sorry about that. (8D) Review! This chapter makes up for all the short ones!**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

---**TBC--- **


	7. Chapter 7

**My Author's Notes and Junk:**

Okay people, I know I said this would be done in a two chapters and an epilogue right? Well, I decided to combine chapter seven and eight to form one LONG chapter. Probably around thirty pages or so because not only does the beginning of this story explain the plot so far in case people were going 'WTF?' and what not. So even if you DO understand what I have been saying for a very long time, I will feel better if I explain things. Review to say what you think and what not. So anyway, this is the last chapter before epilogue where I ATTEMPT (notice I said that instead of something else) to at least a few make out scenes and apologizing between our two lovebirds and what not, blah blah blah. So, let's move forward now!

Gaspeth! On with the freakishly long chapter!

----------------------------------------------------------

**Explanations on the story thus far:**

Since in the actual story I will not be addressing this, John and Anya met when they were in their sixth year at a trip to Honeydukes. Well, Anya was sneaking in and he was going like the rest of them but they did fall in love. Like in the last chapter he had fallen for her flirts, well yes, after that they began to date and fall deeper in love. John, sadly, developed a bond too deep that spurned her idea to create the living puppet in hopes that he wouldn't succumb to depression after she died.

Now, the pills I talked about earlier was in fact, only a part of that chapter, it was that he was deemed mentally unstable after Anya got sick. So he was given pills to help him keep his calm. Anya was diagnosed after the birth of Romulus and Remus. Don't ask me about the illness, use your imagination on what kind of sickness it would be. (--;)

Anya knew she was going to die, seeing as the birth of twins was unexpected and greatly hurt her. So, she came up with the puppet in hopes that John would be kept company. However, due to the constant attention the spell needed, all her unwanted emotions seeped in even when she didn't want them too. As the fake mentioned earlier about how Anya was angry about only her suffering, it was true. Because, when you are in deep pain and hurt, you can't help but think 'why me' and so on and so forth.

Now, about all of John's memories taking place in John's study. That was where Remus and Romulus were not allowed, and Remus only broke that rule once when he very small. The puppet knew this and made sure that she kept a safe distance from Remus because the boy, at even a young age, was bluntly honest about what he felt. Also, the study was where John stayed most of the time after Anya's death.

----Now, off the subject of John Lupin and on to talk about Sirius and Remus and the plot as a whole! o Yay! Our two heroes of the story finally get the spotlight again, seeing as chapter six was mostly John's thoughts and feelings. Okay anyway, about the story first, the plot idea and title.----

The original story was that Sirius was going to discover that Remus' parents were highly abusive and that they didn't give a damn. Well, that was the original idea, until a reviewer told me about how James got blinded related to the 'Hear no Evil: Speak no Evil: See no Evil' stuff. So looking at that a thought struck me, and suddenly everything was changed. James getting blinded was an unconscious thing, a fight scene that was meant to get him my back so I didn't have to write about him and have him be on his merry way (so sorry James fans! I love him too but this story was meant only for Sirius and Remus!). So halfway through this I was like, 'okay, now the name for the story doesn't fit' and thus the new title was created in its place. Also, in the original plot, Sirius was going to kill John Lupin and Remus would be able to speak again and all that crappy happy stuff.

Then, I thought about Remus' twin that likes to appear sometimes (-- Crafty, crafty Romulus). So then something struck me to write about him, but to mention him so mysteriously and never get to him again sounded so dumb, that a new under plot seemed to manifest within it. Then, I was sick of making John (or generally hearing Remus' father as bad) so evil I decided to put a sort of guilt within him, which also took the form of Anya's puppet, which was, in all truth, a total whim to write. Though, I must say, writing her was so fun you wouldn't believe how many times I would break into (slightly evil) laughter. She is, actually, a creation from all MY, the authoress', bitterness towards the world, as I generally do for all the evil people in my stories.

Now, around the first or second chapter there was the schedule passing. McGonagall said that Remus was to be with mostly Slytherins that year. I HAD intended for Remus to be raped by them, and then Sirius going through a whole comforts-my-boyfriend phase while finding more about Remus' family. Then, that destroyed it when I wrote James going blind.

----Well, on to Romulus' back story----

As said, I intended for him to be a passing mention at best. But then, I tried a second direction to him, that in fact, he had been adopted and held something Remus needed. Then I realized this isn't some stupid thing like Star Trek. How I HATE that stupid show, and making Romulus the victim to this horrible plan was just…worse than the death he suffered.

Anyway, about his character, I had always pictured Romulus to be like Riku (Kingdom Hearts), wanting to be free and escape everything. This attitude was perfect for the plot now, and I was making a fleeting idea if he should be the one to accidentally let Remus get bitten, but then I thought it would be better (like in the HP books) for it to be completely John's fault.

**Note: While writing chapter six I began to be increasingly falling in love with John, the character I originally hated and wanted to suffer. But as I continued to write his past all my anger fled to create Anya's fake.**

---More details on HnE-SnE-SnE---

Okay, something going on about the entire story: Sirius seeing Remus' memories. This will be explained later on in this chapter so don't worry about that. Now, when Remus passed out and saw old memories would be explained too. Well, do I really need to tell you that this chapter(s, being that it is a combination of chapter eight too) will be completely angst? So, with that, onto more careful details that I feel need to be cleared up, but wouldn't do well with a mention in the story.

Okay, first off, the conversation had with Dumbledore. Well, that was going to be a big important piece but then I decided that 'meh, not that good' and decided to just have it be a brief moment between the headmaster and Remus. Because no story is complete without the appearance of Dumbledore! 8D

Afterward, Remus communicating with Sirius through a connection with Moony. That was…I decided not to follow that idea because I didn't really care for it all too much. Besides, took up to much time and I knew that it would just leave everyone with even more questions than they already have. So when the next chapter was posted the idea was immediately squashed into nothing.

By the way, andrea88 was the one that gave me the idea of the blind, deaf, and mute plot. So when you get the chance, thank that wonderful person because my original plot would have been crap. Although, sorry andrea88, Peter was not the one to go deaf, that fate was, everyone knows, bestowed upon Sirius. Besides, everyone knows that in my stories it is always Remus, Sirius, and James that suffer. 8D

You all love me anyway. So, onward to the actual story, since the rest of the questions you have will be answered with an actual story.

By the way, this big A/N was optional, but I find it fun to reader the author's opinions on their own stories. This part was merely to help you all out, but knowing you guys you have NEW questions to the story that should have been answered here. If you are still confused, review, and I shall comply to answer since this is the last chapter with the actual story. The epilogue is pure fluff, since you all deserved it.

Gaspeth! On to the actual story this time!

**Anxius- This is the Latin word for anxious, but the root means "to choke". **

**This chapter is not read through, most of it anyway, please excuse any mistakes I might be sporting. 8D **

-------------------------------------Chapter's Seven and Eight--------------------------------------

----Dinner party: Part One----

It was dark and unnervingly still. Why was everything so quiet? Was there something blocking his ears? Was he even sleeping? Cracking open his eyes he blinked, adjusting himself to the light of the infirmary. Looking around he noticed that it was day time out. How long had he been asleep? How was he able to fall asleep with such a muddled mind? Oh yeah, Malfoy had attacked him when he was taking a walk to clear his mind.

But then…what hap-oh, that's right, the spell Malfoy cast when astray. Blinding light, a muttered curse from Lucius, and then he passed out.

…right?

Shaking his head, he sat up, taking in his surroundings, ignoring the wave of dizziness that invaded his head. Why was everything so quiet? Looking to his side he saw Remus looking at him, worry filling his gaze. Rubbing away the sleep he looked at Remus again, who had opened his mouth, seemingly said something and closed again. Sirius cocked his head, eyes narrowing in confusion. However, Remus seemed to realize he couldn't exactly talk and covered his mouth, embarrassed.

This silence was making him feel…awkward. Sirius opened his mouth, wanting to ask a question but madam Pomfrey came into view, smiling at Sirius kindly. Why was she flapping her gums like that? Was she pretending to talk? Looking at Remus, the other man seemed to be nodding to what she was saying. Sirius shook his head, suddenly frightened and began cleaning his ears, panicking slightly when everything was still so silent.

Oh my god was he still asleep? Snapping out of his panicked daze, he realized Remus had been tugging on his shirt. The younger man was holding a clipboard for him to read. Taking it cautiously, reading it over.

_Name: Sirius Black_

_Gender: Male_

_Age: 17_

_Occupation: Student_

_Illness: Deafness_

_Cause of Accident: Rogue spell_

Sirius stared at the information, everything slowly sinking in; the flash of light before he passed out, the sudden silence with the world, Pomfrey talking but he unable to hear anything. Remus' hand was suddenly going through his hair, soothing him, while the other was wiping at his face. Oh, guess he must've started crying. Madam Pomfrey was shaking her head silently, saying something to Remus before leaving.

At least he could still feel Remus. Leaning in, he wrapped his arms around the younger mans waist, burrowing his head in the folds of Remus' school uniform. He was so scared. He didn't know what was going on. It was so silent, everything felt so…lifeless. Burrowing his head in Remus' clothes further, he continued to cry, letting Remus' gentle hands smooth and pet his head. The sudden lack of hands brought his attention to Remus to see him writing on something…paper maybe? Holding it out to him, Sirius blinked, looking up at Remus for permission before taking the paper, looking at the words written on it.

_I know you're scared, but for now you need to calm down and write what happened. All I know is that a rogue spell shattered your eardrums. _

He felt his lips repeating the last three words, and he found it unnerving that he couldn't hear his own voice. Looking at Remus he felt calmed that the other boy was smiling at him, comfortingly, and he suddenly felt a burning need to write _everything _down. Not just the incident that caused this, but the need to tell Remus he was sorry, that he was ready to stand besides the smaller man and protect him. That he was ready to feel and give support to him.

Not yet, he wanted to tell Remus, not write it, and he wanted to hear Remus respond to his apology. Not through paper and pens, but through words. Sirius would wait forever if need be too.

So, he took the pen and paper, writing down his reply.

_**Blinding light, Malfoy. **_

He paused in his writing, even though he hadn't revealed much. A strange thought suddenly entered his head and he bit his lip, hoping to form it into a question.

_**If you are mute, James is blind, and I am deaf, does that mean we are like those hear no evil, speak no evil, and see no evil Chinese legend? Couldn't be mere coincidence, right?**_

Handing it back to Remus he watched as the younger man scanned through it, suddenly happy at the end. Did his questions make Remus happy? Why? Sirius waited patiently as Remus continued to write, trying in the mean time to get used to the silence. Maybe, he could try and get used to it. Remus handed the paper back to Sirius when he was done.

_I'm glad you thought of that Sirius, because I was thinking about before I came to search for you. I remembered three monkey statues in my father's study, now I don't remember much, but they were in a glass case, meaning they must have been important. I know this may sound strange, but they might hold something important. _

_Ever since my father showed them to me, I felt connected to them, like somehow, something in the future might bring closer to these three statues. But oddly, I was more intrigued and frightened of the mute monkey. I must have pushed the feeling back the day my father took my voice._

Sirius sat in thought, reading the note over again. Remus was looking at him intently. A sudden question popped up and Sirius scratched it down hurriedly, smiling at his own genius.

_**That means we have to see those monkey-things. What importance do they hold? Besides importance, it should be more like…er…**_

He handed it to Remus, who scanned it and wrote his reply, giving it back to Sirius.

_Besides holding importance, what else could it hold?_

_**Maybe your father did something bewitching to those monkeys.**_

_Maybe, but he really doesn't have a very good reason if being honest. I know he hates me, and wants nothing more than to hurt me. I just get the feeling something critical is missing._

_**Oh?**_

_Like the feeling that one person couldn't have done those things to you._

_**So, you think an outside force could have been helping him? If so, what did you do to them to make them so mad?**_

_Greyback?_

_**That werewolf guy? My parents like him for some reason.**_

_Sirius. You don't quite understand my connection towards him._

_**Explain it to me Rem.**_

_My father made him really angry, and in a counter act he bit me when I was playing outside with Romulus._

_**WHAT? Why? How? Why didn't you say anything before?**_

_Never mattered, but shouldn't you be asking about who Romulus is instead?_

Sirius paused in responding, instead began to look at the paper. Man, having everything silent he was sure beginning to think a lot. Sirius wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, so he took the quill and etched him.

_**Your brother.**_

Remus stared at the reply in shock, an unreadable emotion going through his eyes. Sirius stared at the other boy for a moment longer before Remus took the quill, writing down his reply for Sirius to read. The older man took note of how hesitant Remus was to give him the paper, but handed it over anyway. Sirius didn't look at it at first, instead looking at Remus, as if asking for permission. In fact, Sirius had never really heard of Romulus, but from the memory where Remus' father said something about Remus' brother, the name Remus wrote down seemed to click something into place. The younger man gave a brief nod, allowing Sirius to read, and that was exactly what he did.

_I'm surprised you know about him. But yes, my father killed him when we were about nine or ten, or maybe younger, I can't really remember. He, my father, never bothered to bury him. In fact, his body is still rotting where it dropped. I suppose I made myself forget about that day, because I couldn't remember any of it until I dreamed about it. But yes, Romulus was my twin, the elder one, in fact._

_**Remus, I want you to know something.**_

_What?_

_**Every time I go to bed I dream your memories. I don't know why and I don't know how, but I know how your father…hurt you. **_

_So then, you saw one of his sick collars?_

_**How did you know that?**_

_A feeling, that collar did more than keep me from leaving the property, it was a sign that he owned every part of me, and that he could do anything he wanted with it._

_**Remus, I know I saw a scene like that, but something was off. Do you remember a time where everything seemed normal with him?**_

_How do you figure?_

_**I don't know, just try answering.**_

_Well, when I was five years old my father was in his study, the only time I actually went in there without permission. He looked in pain, so…I think I must have said something because he snapped back. I don't know, I can't remember much except when my mother rested her hands on my shoulders. Something…odd flowed through me, cold, dark tendrils of bad feelings. My father was yelling at her and strangely enough he was covering me. _

_I think I told him about the feeling I had because he was smiling at me and we spent the whole day in his study, drawing, talking, and generally having fun._

_**So I was right, on some aspect.**_

_About what?_

_**The father in the memory I saw was so…not there.**_

_You noticed it too?_

_**Also, when I was looking at him, I was seeing the strangest of things that I think I forgot about as the memory progressed.**_

_Really?_

_**Yup, like someone else was in there with him.**_

_Like an imaginary friend type of person, or someone who was there in real life reflecting in his eyes?_

_**Both.**_

_Both? Explain._

_**Something fake and something real was there.**_

_Hm, like the person was real in life but was fake in his eyes._

_**Not that either. Like the person was all around fake, not real in his eyes AND reality.**_

_My mother._

_**What?**_

_That feeling of dread when my mother touched me. Like she was unreal._

Sirius set the quill and paper down, lying down completely on the bed, mulling things over. Remus was tired, he could tell, the poor thing must have been waiting up all night for him to wake up. Sirius felt the familiar stab of guilt at their conversation they had had last night. He rejected him, when the young man had been desperate and unsure. Sirius had run away, but strangely enough, he felt no hard feelings towards that wretched conversation. Sirius briefly wondered if being deaf was the punishment he was receiving for hurting someone so pure. A sudden shift next to him and he realized Remus had fallen asleep, slouched over so his arms were on the bed, his head tucked within them.

Sirius smiled at how innocent his friend looked. Taking his own blanket, he draped it over the smaller form, finding no warmth in the object any longer. Smiling at what he accomplished, Sirius went back to his thoughts. He felt so good now that he was able to tell Remus everything, and as he continued to write responses he had become less tense, more willing to let Remus know everything. But he had refrained, finding it better to hear him say his love to Remus rather than writing it. Somehow, Sirius was beginning to think Remus felt relieved that he had not spoken his love through the letter. Sirius got the feeling Remus might have thought he was not worth words, only written things. That was just how the young man was, wanting to know e was loved through expressions, not crappy poems or songs or cards, but through vocals of speech. In fact, Sirius found the insecurity cute.

Without realizing it, Sirius found he was falling asleep too. Yawning loudly, or what he imagined was loud, he closed his eyes, falling into another deep slumber.

-------------------

The heat was gorgeous, Lily's beautiful body spread beneath him, her moans of pleasure sending shock waves through his body, enticing him, making him want more that their current position.

"…James," she sounded so breathless it was exciting.

He smiled, going further into the acts when…

"James, why are you sleeping on the common room couch?" A voice asked and James turned to their direction, immediately knowing the voice was Lily's, but damn, she definitely didn't sound breathless, meaning.

"I had a dream, but why suddenly calling me James?" He asked, trying to rid himself of the embarrassing images. He didn't want Lily to know that he had been dreaming of her that way, she would run, and that was the last thing he needed. Tapping around his eyes he discovered that his blindfold was no longer on. It must've fallen off in his sleep.

"I don't know, seems right," she responded, and a sudden hand on his arm made him shiver despite himself. "Your blindfold came off; you're holding it right now." James blinked, knowing that if this were an anime he would have question marks appearing above his head. When had he…?

Oh yeah, earlier in the dream he had said something to Lily about looking into his own eyes, not some cover. Now that he thought about it, his dream self probably wanted to entice her more.

"James, if a simple hand on your arm causes you to have an erection, I am truly frightened," she said softly, though her voice held a hint of annoyance. James had the decency to blush at least. Oh shit. His hands shot out of their numb state, immediately going to cover up his throbbing member. Oh how badly he wanted to let it free.

"E-excuse me, Lily," his strained whisper spoke. "Um, I need to go." Getting up, he had meant to run for the bathrooms when a hand stopped him, a very strong hand he noted.

"Take care of it here."

…okay that didn't sound so -WHAT! James swiveled his head around to inquire if she was serious or joking and even though he was blind, James was sure he could feel the aura of sexual need in her gaze as she looked right at him. After all, why would she even bother to look away, when saying something that bold? And was this…turning him on?

No! No, bad James! She is clearly suffering from lack of judgment!

Until something took hold of his groin, stroking it through the cloth. Oh dear god Lily was giving him a hand job…or maybe a blow job…or both. James smiled despite himself. Oh Lily, that crazy girl.

"I think I can do that," he responded to her earlier suggestion. Pulling her to him he kissed her deeply, feeling the soft lips against his. Oh, it was everything he dreamed about. Grab her backside with a quick squeeze, he took advantage of her gasp to delve deeper into her mouth, leaving no where untouched. Why did he seem so desperate again? Oh yeah, because he might wake up at any moment.

He moved her slightly, landing them both on the couch with a hard kick to himself, and he was reaching everywhere his fingers could reach. Breaking the kiss, he brought out her tucked in shirt, his hands feeling everywhere. Was this for real? Of course not!

Lily moaned, and he silently was thanking whatever god had not bestowed the unfortunate curse of being deaf on him. I mean that was Sirius' gig, just like Remus was blind, and he was silent…almost exactly like the Chinese legend. James' dull eyes widened and he stopped his ministrations.

Oh my god, Sirius. He was the only one left.

And with that thought, James woke up from his slumber, ungracefully running out of the dorms and out the common room (though not before running strait into the wall).

He was scared he was going to run into something but Sirius' voice was suddenly filling his head, so sure, like when he took on the duty of leading James around for the first time.

_Turn right_

_Left_

_Keep going_

_Left_

_Almost there_

_Stop_

James nearly screeched to a halt, unsure of what was going on, but his fingers reached out, immediately recognizing the oak design under his fingertips; the Hospital Wing. Opening the doors, he walked in, feeling a vague comfort as Lily's voice filled his head this time.

_Go on Potter, keep walking_

_Towards the end_

_Keep walking_

_You're a good listener Potter, you can stop now_

And so he did. Looking around he noticed that eyes were gazing at him and a warm feeling immediately washed over him. Like, whenever he sees his mother and father waiting for him, to see their smiling after what felt like years. It was the same feeling, only…more brotherly, like he was going to be protected and loved and in return does the same. Not that he wouldn't do that already, James mused, but this had a deep bond attached as well.

Reaching forward, his hand met another. This one was very small compared to his, but had a sense of even greater strength. When did he start feeling these things? It suddenly clicked and an image flashed through his head.

Remus.

Remus was touching his hand, as if telling a silent promise that he wasn't alone. But just in case.

"Remus?" Why did his voice sound so…weird? Unsure and insecure? The fingertips tightened around his own, and the blood underneath pulsed.

It was Remus, always the silent strength of the Marauders.

"Hey to you too James," another voice cut in. James turned to the voice, which seemed to be a little higher than normal, but still familiar.

"Sirius, I think I…" A sudden, rough hand covered his mouth. This one was bigger than Remus' and it immediately shut him up.

"I don't want you to say something cryptic or funny," Sirius informed voice louder than normal. "Because I'd miss out, unable to hear and all." James knew he was gaping now, with the way his mouth fell open, he could feel how ridiculous he must have looked. A soft chuckle from Remus' direction confirmed that.

(**A/N: **Remember that even if you are mute, you can still make noises in your throat, so a chuckle does count people.)

"I-I'm really sorry Siri, I wish I could have stopped it," he said softly, letting Remus' hand guide him to the chair next to him. James recalled that Remus had never really let go. A few moments of silence before Sirius took hold of a quill and parchment, writing down his answer on that.

"Don't worry James," he replied, his voice still loud. "You have no time to think about it anyway. We're going to a dinner party." James looked in his direction, the question marks appearing above his head. He could feel Remus' nervousness as he kept shifting in his seat.

"When do we leave," he responded at last, and a shaky breath to his side was the reply.

"Remus says immediately." James didn't even want to ask how Remus was speaking, so he only nodded, the familiar butterflies in his gut alerting him. If this was over Remus' house, he had no reason to worry right? Still…

James couldn't help but feel like he was going to his own death.

-------------------

_Dear Remus,_

_I realize that this may not be the best way to communicate with you, but it is the best I can do. I deserve no right to ask forgiveness from you, nor do I have any right to demand that you read this. She will not allow you too anyway. I hope that during this party you will somehow stumble upon this, but you are a smart boy, I'm sure I can count on you to read this._

_Your voice is in the statues in front of this letter, destroying them will make everything normal for you and your friends. _

_I ask that you do not worry about me or your mother, I'm afraid that information would only hurt you. In response to your anger my young son, all I can say is that I am terribly sorry if I wronged you, which I know I have. Believe this letter if you wish, but it would be in your best interest._

_I, your father, am truly sorry for any pain I have caused within you. Though I know it would not be enough._

_Love,_

_John Lupin_

As soon as the last word was written, John put the pen away, taking the letter and flipping over to join the other papers on the desk. If more than anything, he knew that Remus would find it; his son was a bright young man. John buried his head in his hands for a few more minutes, cursing his shaking limbs.

In a couple hours, everything he had been dreading could come true. Letting his hands drop back to his sides he almost growled when the door opened, and Anya's fake walked in. She had that damned smile on her face, while her sun dress seemed to shine on her. Everyone would comment that she was beautiful, but he knew better. He always knew better.

"Are you ready for the party John?" She asked, fixing her hair in the mirror.

"Butt out woman, you already know my answer," he growled. She turned to him, a wicked smile on her face.

"I'm trying to calm you dear husband, it's not everyday that you kill your son," she commented, going back to putting little decorations in her hair. He sighed, folding his arms on the desk and leaning slightly into them. She was humming a tune, twirling in front of the mirror to check every bit of herself.

How _innocent _of her.

John refrained from making a biting comment, instead, settling to his thoughts over the dinner party that was no doubt going to arrive sooner than needed.

John couldn't help the feeling of absolute dread that filled him.

---Chapter Eight---

---Dinner Party: Part Two---

Sirius' silent world was beginning to get annoying. This was especially the case when Remus, James, and he were all sitting on the couch in Remus' house, sitting in the middle of a heated conversation between the Malfoy's and many other pureblood members. In fact, the Minister Fudge was there, laughing heartily to their antics. Not that Sirius could hear it anyway. But that was what annoyed Sirius the most, is the fact that he could see everyone's gums flapping in talk but he couldn't hear a thing. Though, with the look on James and Remus' face, he thought it might be best that way.

"The last of the guests should be arriving soon enough," John Lupin said, and Remus noted briefly, he looked annoyed and…sad? Shaking it off he continued to look ahead, completely ignoring all of the talk and giggles and the pointless sounds of tea cups clanking on the little plates, as the crumpets were practically inhaled by Crabbe and Goyle, children included. Shuddering, he returned to his thoughts for only a moment before his mother came in, smiling pathetically. He couldn't help but feel the pang of guilt entering his heart. Letting out a weary sigh, he continued to brood.

James was, despite earlier forced enthusiasm, positively livid. Not only was he forced to participate in these stupid conversations, but he was silently snickered at when they thought he wasn't listening. He was indeed very angry. Of course, he could have denied this wretched party, but seeing as Remus was forced, and Sirius didn't want to leave his boyfriend (were they still broken up, James briefly wondered), James felt obligated to go with his two best mates. Despite being blind, he could almost imagine the looks his two other friends sported.

John Lupin, on the other side of the room, was about to cry with panic. The dinner party was half way over, all the guests having dinner, except the late ones of course. Now, after they all had their fill of talk, would be the time for them to go home, and then he would commit another murder. More like murders. He glanced in the direction of his son and his two friends, feeling the guilt rearing back again. He still had no control over his body, but his mind nearing its cloudy state. Urg, he hated the bitch more than life itself. But, along with his guilt, the distinct of panic was settling over him, as Remus was making no movement, staying completely stationary. He had to do something, or his son would never find the letter in the study.

Anya Lupin, or for her personal name, Anxius, was gleaming, her excitement seeming to seep through her carefully constructed walls. She still had to act pathetic in front of her son after all. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus and the tall dark haired man share a pointed look, in which the latter quickly smiled in reassurance. It intrigued her more to see her son flinch and look away, blushing at the action. Shaking her head, she added something into the conversation before going to her thoughts again. In fact, despite her own smugness, she had gotten increasingly worried about the party, especially discovering how Sirius was able to get into Remus' thoughts. She had been thoroughly alarmed to find that he had seen a lot of Remus' memories, especially when she didn't even know it happened. Though, discovering that it wasn't anything critical, her worry receded mostly, but some of it remained. Smiling weakly in assurance to herself, she shook the thoughts out, going back to the conversation.

Remus looked up, feeling his mothers gaze on him, but seeing nothing he went back to his thoughts. He needed to get out of this room, everyone staring at him in hopes that he would do something embarrassing. Standing up, he cast a quick glance at his mother before walking down the hall, hoping to get to the bathroom or something, any room besides the one he was just occupying.

Sirius watched him leave with apprehension, a sort of 'don't leave me' sort of look going through his expression before going blank again. However, as soon as his head dropped in thought, the doorbell rang, only to be accompanied by a quick set of knocks. The guests went silent, and even Sirius could feel the change in atmosphere. He briefly wondered who it could be before Remus' father swept up from his seat, opening the door with fake happiness. Sirius watched with heated attention, as the people at the door greeted his friend's father. James was looking in the direction of the door too, though his blindfolded eyes wouldn't give him access to sight. Sirius glanced in his direction before going back…only to have his gut plummet.

There in the doorway was his mother, father, and brother, all smirking at him.

-------------------

Remus wandered through the halls, looking at anything to clear his mind. How he hated this house, how he hated it with a passion. Shaking his head he continued until he stopped, staring critically at the door at the very back: his father's study. Taking a brief look around, he entered, taking a seat at the soft cushioned couch in the corner. Letting out a happy breath, he began to relax, enjoying the comforting silence that surrounded him. This was by far much better than the main room. Casting a glance around the room again, he closed his eyes, letting all of his wayward thoughts fall silent.

--------------------

_Why are they here why are they here why are they here?_

Sirius stared at his family's faces with a mixture of shock and fear. He thought he would never have to see them again, especially with that very uplifting run away attempt that got him his own flat. Shivering, he was for once blessing for not being able to hear, as he noticed their lips moving in his direction. However, on further notice, he noticed that it might have been a question about him, seeing as Remus' father answered. Sirius stared at their silent conversation before getting up, muttering in his opinion, about going to the bathroom.

Where was that anyway?

Sirius closed the door of the living room behind him, walking through the hallway. Looking into each room he frowned, noting that the bathroom was no where on this floor. Did they even have a bathroom? Sirius chided himself silently, proving that inquisition was pointless and ridiculous. His gaze went to the very back room, where the doorway was closed.

_Please go in there._

What was that?

_Please look on the desk._

Okay, Sirius hated the random voices that seemed to appear.

_Please read the letter._

Letter? What letter? Where was this letter? Sirius cocked his head to the side, finding that his feet were taking him to the room anyway. Walking forward, his hand reached out, fingertips brushing over the door knob. Biting his lip he opened the door, noticing that it didn't squeak at all. Meaning it was used a lot. Sirius stepped forward, curious as to what was on the desk. Sirius cast a quick glance around the room, until his eyes landed on the curled up lump on the couch. Hesitantly he walked over, hoping it wasn't an attack dog or something. However, when the blanket was removed, his gaze softened when his eyes met Remus' peacefully sleeping face.

Carefully, so as not to awaken the boy, he sat down, bringing Remus into his lap, humming soft tunes to the young werewolf. Grinning at the small smile Remus began to wear, he continued to hum, his fingers ghosting over Remus' hair, marveling at how soft it was. Looking up, his eyes wandered over to the desk, where three monkey statues sat, a folded piece of paper in front of it. Cocking his head to the side in confusion, he slowly crept off the couch after putting Remus back down.

Picking up the letter Sirius turned it over about once or twice before deeming it safe. Folding it open his eyes ghosted over it before shaking his head, feeling this was personal. Sirius fingered it briefly before making up his mind and pocketing it.

_Remus should read this later, when he's awake _Sirius thought, going back over to his earlier spot on the couch, continuing to pet his friend until he fell into a light sleep.

----------------------

James, despite many accusations, was not the type of person to bitch. In fact, he only did that when he was alone, and in public, when things didn't go his way, he would whine. Big difference. So, when it came time to whine, his first sentence would always be something along the lines of 'I'm not bitching Sirius, I'm whining' and then he would proceed to tell why he was bit-whining. This particular occasion called for silent acts of displeasure, seeing as anything vocal would be tossed back at him with a laugh.

So, his main topic was, of course, where the fuck did his friends run off to? Why hadn't they come back yet? And, most importantly, why didn't they take him along damn it?

Like it stated before, those were only the top reasons for his whining.

Oh, and James was now ready to scream bloody murder if the annoying talk of Ministry affairs didn't quite soon. Would it be alright if he ripped his ears off? Also said before, James _knew _this would be a bad idea, but had kept quiet as support to his friends. Well, now that those friends were gone, he had the right to leave of course. And he was too, until a voice asked him a question.

"What do you think the Ministry should do, Mr. Potter?" It asked. James looked up in the direction of the voice, multiple questions going through his head. Mr. Potter? Who said his name like that? What are they talking about? What's a Ministry? ...Oh yeah.

"Er, they should take the action that, ah -ahem, take the action that was…original," he finished lamely. A few soft chuckles followed his statement. James, being the better person, decided to keep his mouth shut from snapping at the people. Really he had no right, he did answer sort of stupidly.

"Odd, I thought you would choose Werewolf rights," the voice said in response.

"Huh?" He asked, clearly not paying attention.

"The Ministry," okay, James knew that was Fudge's voice, "has been mulling over werewolf rights for a while now. Many people do not like it because Werewolves shouldn't have the right to be walking in our presence.

"Well that isn't right," James responded, almost immediately. "Werewolves are people too, you can't even begin to imagine how much pain they are put through on the full moon, and then continued to get beaten down in a month's time where they should be recovering and preparing for the next full moon."

A soft chuckle. "They hurt people though," a female voice was commenting. "You would rather have people die?" James scowled at how stupid these people were sounding. Instead he sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"That is why we take precautions on the _full moon_," he said, putting emphasis on his last two words. "You shouldn't treat them like dirt and keep them off the streets when they aren't even doing anything wrong. Before condemning them to a life full of cruel taunts and restrictions, think about the solution that would benefit _everyone_, including werewolves."

A moment of silence before Fudge was speaking. "Though, they aren't even people, monsters." James growled low in his throat.

"Okay Fudge, what were you always teased about at school?" James asked.

"Well, I was a bit on the pudgy side," he responded. James refrained from saying anything rude.

"Okay, well fatty, you don't deserve to walk the streets you repulsive pig, because you are the slightest bit different from everyone else," James, earning a horrid gasp from everyone. "Do you really want to be treated like that for something you can't control?"

"Well no but-," Fudge began.

"No, I'm not done," James said. "Mrs. Malfoy, you rotten filth, clean up the dung from your face or stop looking the way you don't you unnatural freak." Multiple 'how dare you' were being tossed around, oh but James was far from being done.

"How about, Mr. Black," James began. "Your 'holier-than-thou' attitude is completely unnatural, you should really stop that you disgusting pile of rat shit. We don't want you seen around public because of your ways. So, because we all hate that there is even the slightest thing wrong with you, we're going to sign a petition that claims you are no longer allowed to be seen shopping."

James grinned at how much of a genius he is.

"It doesn't feel good does it?" He began loudly, really getting in the mood. "To be treated like you are lower than everyone because the way you are, the way you look, or even the way you act is slipping you down to a level below anything. Besides, what you all seem to be unable to grasp is that werewolves are people too."

With that, he walked out, feeling very accomplished until he ran into a wall in the hallway.

"Damn walls, we should have them banned," he muttered, continuing on.

----------------------

The first thing that registered in Remus' sleep fogged mind was that he was no longer in the living room like he thought, nor was he in a place that wasn't off limits. Sitting up, he even realized that he had been sleeping his ex-boyfriends lap. He fell asleep? When? Squashing the immediate panic down, he thought through the events to the point.

Oh yeah. Now Remus recalled everything, which did well on his nerves at least. Looking around he spotted that Sirius was still asleep, looking quite peaceful in his position. Remus bit his bottom lip, shaking his friend awake. He knew he should leave the other one asleep but they were in a bad room to be in.

His father got pissy when people went into his study.

A low noise from the other man, and a pair of grey-blue eyes on him made him smile slightly. Great, the sooner they got out of there the better. Of course, nothing ever went like Remus wanted, so as soon Sirius was beginning to collect his bearings, the door opened only slightly. The werewolf felt that panic getting into his system again and he swallowed hard, prepared for a beating.

However, after several minutes, there were no loud threats, no bruises about to be formed, nothing but a few moments more of silence. Until, the person at the door spoke of course.

"Hey, is anyone in here? Sorry to interrupt anything, I swear, I can't see a thing," James' voice whispered, sounding anxious. Remus, for the second time in two minutes, sagged in relief, all of the panic disappearing.

"James? That you?" Sirius groggy voice said.

Remus smiled at the bright grin on the other mans features and James walked into the room clicking the door shut.

"Guys, thank god I found you, can't believe you abandoned me like that!" James huffed, looking irritated. Sirius must have noticed the look on the mans face because he laughed nervously.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. Remus had to give Sirius points for being able to respond correctly without actually hearing anything. James seemed just as relieved because he let a small smile tug at his lips. After a few moments of silence, Sirius stiffened next to Remus and grinned at him, reaching into his pocket and taking out a folded piece of paper.

"I think it's for you," he grinned. James cocked his head to the side, curious.

"What is?" He asked, coming forward.

Remus reached up, pulling James' fingers to brush over every part of the folded paper.

"A letter," he responded sounding sure. Remus made a noise in his throat, hoping it would confirm James' answer. It seemed to work, because James sat on the floor in front of him, anxious.

Remus unfolded the letter, looking it over, his gaze softening as he went on. However they hardened again, a brief sense of anger reaching him. Growling low in his throat, he continued, a flash of confusion in his features before he looked up again, Sirius' gaze following his towards the three monkey statues.

"What did the letter say Remus?" James asked after a while. Remus pointed to the three monkey statues, motioning something breaking with his hands. Sirius nodded, turning to James.

"The letter said to break the monkey statues," he said, looking at Remus who nodded.

"Why?" James asked. Sirius looked at Remus, who motioned to his throat, Sirius' ears, and James sight.

"They have my hearing, Remus' voice, and your sight," Sirius translated, hoping he got it right. A nod from Remus confirmed it. James smiled suddenly, jumping from his position in front of the other two.

"Let's get to breaking then!"

----------------------

Everything was going perfectly, and Anxius couldn't be happier about this, except for the one tiny slip that was making her even angrier by the second. Remus, her wretched "son", had disappeared and hadn't come back. At first, she was alright with it, having the thoughts along the lines of 'he's just going to the bathroom', but a half an hour later and the brown haired twit was no where to be seen.

The second thing that bothered her was the fact that Remus' little bitch went running away after John had greeted his parents at the door. She hadn't worried about that, he couldn't have gotten far, and she knew that he would not leave Remus alone in the vicinity of the house. Anyway, that was all twenty minutes ago.

The third thing, and this event made Anxius positively livid, was that Remus' second little toy went running off after making that rather inspiring speech. She, again, hadn't been too worried since she had a rather strong feeling that the only he came in the first place was to support his two friends. She finally realized a little too late that now all three of them were out of her sight, and she didn't want to know what the three were doing. Well, the third brat left about five minutes ago.

The fourth that pissed her off was the fact that her hold over John's body was slipping. This happened only when she had a lot on her mind, and right now, she had _a lot _on her mind. He was talking to her, almost in a distracting way, and keeping conversation up so she couldn't just slip out. This angered even further.

Finally, one of the guests spoke up.

"It is getting rather late, John, Anya, we should be going," so it was Malfoy that spoke. John nodded, leading them to the door and the Blacks were following behind. They all bid their goodbyes and finally, after the last guest filtered out, Anxius turned swiftly to her husband.

"Find them," she hissed. With a curt nod, he headed down the hall, while she took the upstairs. She was beginning to hate how that hallway led to the upstairs too. Growling, she continued her search.

-------------------

"I don't know about you guys but I don't think I want to break them," Sirius said. Remus and James stood beside him, and they were nodding their approval. Of course, James was on his way to destroying the deaf monkey when a weird sense of dread came over him, and he buckled out of the job. Remus had also tried, but images of the impending torture by his father caused him to back. Finally, that left Sirius to try. The other two were looking at him (well, in his direction from James' standpoint) and waiting for him to make a move.

"Don't be a baby Siri, just do it," James prodded, meaning to push him but it ended up being Remus. The smallest of the trio growled in warning and James stopped. "Whoa, sorry man thought you were Siri." Remus shrugged, and Sirius took the liberty to translate.

"He doesn't care, just don't do it again," he said. Sighing at last he stepped forward, but a feeling of nervousness took over and he quit what he was doing, going back to standing next to Remus and James.

"Did you do it?" James asked.

"Nope, strange feeling of being nervous came over me," Sirius replied. They all took a long sigh, and plopped down on the couch. Remus reached over, grabbing a pen and paper, beginning to write stuff down. Handing it to Sirius, he sighed again.

"_There must be magic around it, since none of us are able to break it_," Sirius read aloud, looking in thought. James bit his lip, running a hand through his already messy spikes.

"Well then, how do we break the spell?" He asked.

A moment of silence overtook them before the door opened loudly and John Lupin stepped in, looking angry.

"You don't," he growled. Remus visibly paled, his body began to shake. Sirius had _no clue _what the man said, but took the liberty to hiding Remus the best he could. James stood up, putting himself between everyone in the room.

"Remus, I thought I told you on multiple occasions that this area was off limits," he hissed, closing the door softly behind him.

_I'm sorry._

Remus froze as the foreign thought crossed his mind.

_Please destroy the statues, please Remus, I don't want to hurt you anymore._

Remus' shaking stopped and he looked over at his father, the angry man before him was still steaming with anger and Remus couldn't help but feel that was unreal. Sirius and James, however, were convinced that the man was evil.

_I can help you._

_**Help me then, I can't destroy them on my own.**_

A sudden movement caught his attention and his father had slammed his fist into one of the statues. Sirius gasped suddenly, covering his ears. James looked behind him, startled at the pained gasp that erupted behind him.

"Sirius? Are you okay?" James asked. Sirius blinked once, twice, and three times for good measure. He could…hear everything. Sirius uncovered his ears, wincing at the flow of sounds that came at him.

"I'm fine James," he responded softly. "I can hear…everything."

"And that will be the last of the damage," another voice interrupted. Remus watched cautiously as his mother entered the room, a sneer on her features. Sirius looked up at her and frowned, questions running through his head.

"Anxius, go, I can handle everything here," John said to her, to which she frowned.

"Clearly you can't, else all three of these brats would be dead by now," she snarled, slamming her fist into the side of John's face. He grunted, stumbling back into the mirror, holding his bruising cheek.

"Mrs. Lupin, I thought-," Sirius started. He was so confused, what was going on? Remus' eyes kept darting to his father and back to his mother, as if unsure which side he should be on.

"You thought wrong, Sirius, and I never imagined that you would be able to break into Remus' memories the way you did," Anxius said softly, almost scolding her for making such a stupid mistake. "And after all my work, it was about to collapse because your pointless meddling."

"I thought Mr. Lupin was the bad guy," James spoke in suddenly. Sirius shot him a pointed look.

"He is, after all, he was the one that raped, beat, and even scarred poor Remus," she continued, relishing in the shudder Remus gave. "However, surely a completely sane man could not slip _that _fast."

"She is nothing more than a doll," John suddenly cut in. "A failed attempt from Anya to make this family happy again. Before she died, she knew the strain it would put on me when she died, so she attempted to make things right…it backfired. And this _thing _was created."

Remus choked suddenly. _Mama, she died and I didn't even know? Why?_

"All the bitter thoughts ran into this doll and thus, _she _was created," he continued, setting himself upright, clutching the aching cheek. "Anxius is a living form of hatred."

"Creepy isn't it," she commented. Remus shuddered, and he suddenly withdrew his wand from his pocket, looking at it. He couldn't say a spell, no doubt about that, so really, it was pointless. Sighing he set it down again.

"I think Remus deserves a chance to speak," John muttered softly.

"Shut it John, I know you want to give him his voice back," she snarled. John reacted the next moment, both hands flying separate directions. Anxius gasped, reeling from the shove while the sound of something breaking echoed in everyone's ears. Remus blinked, trying to catch himself up to the events.

"What just happened?" He rasped. John smiled, feeling accomplished. Sirius spun on his foot, smiling at his friend.

"Your voice is back, that's what happened," he said excitedly.

"Remus, I am sorry for everything I have done," he spoke softly, his wand drawing out. "It was your mothers wish that the three of us were to live happily. I ruined it, along with this puppet. I can't erase what I have done, and I ask that you never forgive me, somehow, it wouldn't feel right."

Remus nodded despite himself.

The green flash of light erupted from his wand in a hiss, quickly feeding off the person it was directed too. Even James was shielding his eyes on instinct.

Remus slowly looked up, dreading the worst. Sirius swallowed thickly, looking at the two unmoving bodies in front of him. Remus' amber eyes were staring, his body and eyes unmoving. He had gone into utter shock. Sirius looked at the desk, where all three statues laid in ruins, the last probably knocked off on accident. Looking over he noticed that James had undone the bandages and he was looking at the two bodies.

"Pa, dad, papa," Remus muttered. "Why is he not moving? Why is he, why pale? Why can't I hate him?"

"Remus don't look," Sirius demanded, pulling Remus to him and picking him up, the younger man so light in his arms. Gingerly he walked over Anxius's body, stepping into the hall. He looked over his shoulder, where James was standing, his eyes glued to the scene.

"Damn it James, floo Dumbledore and tell him what happened," he growled. James seemed to snap out of his daze and he ran to the living room, intending to get to the fireplace. Sirius set Remus down in the hallway, kneeling right in front of the shell shocked teen.

"Remus, I need you to look at me," Sirius cooed gently. Remus' amber eyes looked at him, the gentle orbs beginning to fill with tears. "Remus come here, you need to cry, come here." Sirius pulled the younger man onto lap, feeling vaguely relieved that Remus began to bury into him, his frame shaking.

"I shouldn't, I-I should be mad, w-why do I want him alive?" Remus cried, his voice muffled in the folds of Sirius' shirt.

"Because he was your dad, no matter what he did, it is natural to feel sad," Sirius said gently. "What he did to you far all those years, they were bad, but you still had a love for him somewhere for him. It's okay to cry, because, you must also feel sad because you are alone."

Remus nodded gently.

"He's always been there," Remus sobbed. "I feel alone now."

"Nobody likes to be alone," Sirius said softly, petting Remus' hair gently. "So it's okay Remus, its okay to feel sad."

Sirius waited for a couple moments before looking down at his friend, smiling when he noticed Remus was sleeping. Looking up he saw James coming down the hall, still looking a little pale.

"I told Dumbledore everything, he said that he would be here soon," James said softly, collapsing next to Sirius. "They were so pale Sirius, gods, I'm scared." Sirius nodded, wrapping an arm his best friend in a comforting gesture.

They stayed like that until Dumbledore came, looking worried.

---**END---**

**We still have the Epilogue, but besides that, this is technically the last chapter. I hoped you all liked it, and I hope my info part answered any questions. I am deleting two of my stories once this is posted, so say goodbye to the unlucky two. 8D**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---END---**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, and Voldemort being weird.  
**Summary: **Seventh year has begun and Remus comes back completely different. He is cold, distant, depressed, and uncaring. Something happened to him and the Marauders are determined

**Notes: **Yay! Epilogue! Finally, we get some fluff and the only depressing part is the beginning and a little bit after that where Remus is like "aw man, life sucks" and all that jazz. So, here it is faithful people.

---Epilogue---

It was a surprisingly sunny day for the events that were going to be taking place. Well, Remus guessed the heavens or the universe didn't give a flying fart in space about John Lupin's funeral. Remus was feeling the same way, but he stood silently as the priest prattled on about how good a man he was and a caring husband and father. Remus bit his tongue at the praises the man got. He still hated the man, even if he knew it was all his mothers doing now. Looking at the coffin next to his fathers, he frowned and continued to brood.

What made this day worse?

Sirius had yet to say sorry to him and ask him to be his boyfriend again.

Remus bit his tongue at another speech that went by, in which he promptly tuned out. Releasing a long and weary sigh, he yawned, stretching his aching bones and muscles, earning surprised and displeased looks from his relatives. He almost gave them the pleasure of ignoring them, but instead, flipped them off. Hey, he was pissed right now, and their gasps of horror sort of made him feel better. He supposed the third thing that made this day suck was he had stupidly insisted on going to this place alone. Dumb idiot.

"As John's closest family, would you, Remus Lupin, like to give a speech?" The priest said, giving him a pointed look that clearly meant he couldn't refuse. Standing up, he walked up to the front of the crowd, tapping the coffin of John Lupin with his fingernail. Clearly his throat, Remus began to speak.

"I will somewhat miss him," he said simply, bowing briefly before sitting back down in his chair. They were still looking at him. What, did they expect a heart warming speech from the abused son? Hell no! Remus didn't trust saying anything else in all truth, because he knew something nasty would end up spilling out his mouth.

"Th-thank you Mr. Lupin, that was very…er, inspiring," the priest said. Remus resisted the urge to flash a sarcastic smile. He was pissed off; couldn't anyone in this cemetery see that? He hated the man, and knew, with great satisfaction, that he was burning in hell. Well…good. Snorting, he looked towards the other headstones, gazing at them softly. He bet those people had a loving family, and died with their deepest love. I bet their kids had cried very hard. Remus already did that though, and that was all the man deserved.

Closing his eyes, he let the sun gently hit his shut eyelids with brief satisfaction.

-

"Remus! Hey, hey, hey, hey, Remus! Remus! Hey, hey, hey, Remus over here! Look at me!" An annoying voice floated up to Remus like a fly and very sleepily, he whipped it away with his hand, hoping that the voice would go away. A snort and disapproving grunt came from the voices' direction and he was suddenly being straddled by something bigger than him. Opening his eyes in a lazy attempt at a glare, he noticed it was Sirius sitting on him.

"What do you want? Can't you see I was sleeping?" Remus asked irritably, the funeral still running through his head. He felt a bit guilty for how he acted, knowing that it wasn't his father that had been _truly _doing those things to him.

"I needed to talk to you Remus," Sirius said, smiling a bit. Remus was all ears now.

"Okay, shoot," the younger murmured.

"Dumbledore informed me that it was your fathers own wand that cast the Avada Kedavra," Sirius said softly, feeling a bit sheepish for him being the one to relay the information. "Apparently when the curse hit your mom, it killed him too."

Remus sighed, flopping back down. "Fascinating, you really got my attention," he said sarcastically. Sirius scowled.

"No need to be pissy about it," he informed, crossing his arms in front of him. Remus glared at him.

"I don't care how he died, as long as he's dead," Remus spat, closing his eyes again. "Her too." He added as an afterthought.

"They were your mom and dad Remus, your family," Sirius tried to coax.

"You saw what they did!" Remus hissed softly, trying not to draw attention to them in the common room. "You know how horrible they were."

"You still miss them though." Sirius meant it as a question, he really did, but it came out more as a statement.

Remus remained silent, blinking at the flames crackling in the fire.

"You're right," the young werewolf sighed at last.

-------------------------

"Geez Lily, you really know how to get things done," James joked, watching the red head clean up around the classroom. She sighed, stopped, and turned to face him, a gentle smile on her features.

"I can do more than this, I assure you," she whispered, eyes gleaming. James' mouth curled into a smirk.

"Man Lily, we're about to go on our first date and you already have those thoughts," he said approvingly. She laughed.

"I like to tease you James, but I'd rather keep my virginity thank you," she replied. "Besides, instead of feeling me up you should be checking up with Remus, everyone can tell he's upset."

"Sirius talked to me about that," James said after a moment of silence.

"And?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, the second reason why I wanted to ask you out tonight was because I wanted to give them room to talk," he revealed, scratching his head nervously. Lily nodded, moving a stack of papers onto McGonagall's desk, as told. More silence, until she sat in one of the chairs, leaning back lazily.

"Remus never did come from the best family, he once told me. Said his father was mean, but he misses his dad no doubt," she said, looking worried. James walked over to where she was seated, taking the seat next to hers.

"That's why Sirius is talking to him," James replied, still noticing the uneasy look on her face. "Oi, Lily, its okay. Sirius knows how to coax these things out of Moony."

A bright smile lit up on her face. "They should really hook up again," Lily said, giggling softly.

James nodded. "They need each other, no doubt."

"…"

"…"

"So Potter, do you believe in fate?" Lily asked after more silence. James looked at her, unsure how he should answer the question. Leaning back into the chair, he balanced on the back two legs of the chair. Glancing at her again, he noticed that her vibrant eyes were looking at him critically. Okay, now he felt a little pressured.

"Not really, no," he admitted. She let out a knowing breath of air. Reaching up she twirled both of her hands in his messy locks, bringing their faces close. Kissing James deeply, she closed her eyes, losing herself in the intensity. She didn't like to admit it, but this would be her first real kiss. James responded immediately, dragging her close, resting his hand on her back, prodding her bottom lip for entrance.

Hesitantly, Lily complied, shivering at the new sensation. James lifted her up onto the table, their lips still tightly sealed. Exploring every nook and cranny was a tedious task that only James Potter was capable of doing, he decided, breaking off to stare into emerald orbs. Nibbling on her bottom lip he breathed deeply, taking in Lily's soft scent.

"Do you believe in fate now? Like it was fate that blinded you and opened up those feelings for me?" Lily asked, breathless. He nodded.

"I do now," he responded.

Laughing softly she grinned. "Good," she hissed.

----------------------

"I feel so stupid! How could I miss that bastard? How! He hurt me, raped me, made me a fucking pet and still I feel like I should be crying over the loss!" Remus rampaged, pacing the dorm room in a frantic rhythm. Sirius sighed, watching him go back and forth, repeating the process over and over again.

"Even though he did those things Remus," Sirius began, effectively cutting the younger boy off. "He was still your dad, and it is _natural _to feel sorrow, even though you feel he doesn't deserve it."

"He fucking made you deaf and James blind!" Remus said loudly, almost yelling.

"Your mom actually," Sirius felt obligated to point out that fact.

"GYAH!" Throwing his arms in the air, Remus crumpled to the ground, muttering angrily to himself.

Sirius sighed, knowing Remus was about to burst out something again. And he was right.

"My whole family is screwed up!" He finally yelled, slamming his fist into the bed behind him, muttering an 'oops' when he heard wood crack. Sticking his tongue out at the bed, he proceeded to pout, looking positively adorable.

"I think just your fake mom was," Sirius supplied. Remus shot him a glare.

"But my father went along with it!" Remus snapped, quickly getting up and pacing with new found strength. Sirius let out a _long _sigh.

"Actually that was forced too," Sirius replied. Remus' eye twitched.

"I still hate him," he whined, falling unceremoniously on Sirius' bed, right next to the boy himself. "So why do I miss him too?"

"Like I said before, he was still your father," Sirius responded, wrapping his arms around the smaller frame. "Even though he did all those awful things, you now hold the knowledge that he really wasn't behind it, while still holding the feelings of a child that lost a parent." Remus stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

"You know what would make me happy?" He asked, making sure to keep his sly undertone in check. Sirius either didn't catch it or ignored it. Remus grinned, all anger draining him at the new goal ahead of him.

"What would that be?" Sirius asked, truthfully expecting Remus to say something like bring his father back from the dead somehow and then killing him all over again.

"You apologizing and then getting back together with me," Remus responded, feeling a smirk pull at his lips.

"We broke up Remus," Sirius sighed.

Remus turned around, staring at Sirius intently. "Because you couldn't understand me in my moment of grief, I know. We could work on that you know, and besides that was not my fault anyway." He stated.

Sirius scoffed.

"It's true," Remus whined. "I made it so even _you _lost faith, I did that on purpose you know. But I love you Siri, I really do."

"I…I understand…that is…er, what I meant is," Sirius was at a loss.

Remus waited, still staring at him.

"You don't have family anymore Remus, so you have to stay with someone," he started, liking where this choice of beginning was going. "So you can stay with me, forever if you want, and I can think about getting back together with you. Give me some time."

"Oh, you'll come back to me in time," Remus snickered, turning back around so his back was to the other behind him.

"I know, but I like to think I have a chance against your sexy ass," Sirius sighed, feeling thoroughly defeated. Remus stuck his tongue out at him, turning back around so their faces almost touched.

"I'll go insane if I don't get at least a good make out," Remus said softly, hands already busy running over Sirius' chest. Tucking a hand in Sirius' hair he winked playfully, loving the way Sirius tried to fight his desire. It clearly failed, for the next moment Remus was pressed underneath a rather warm body and his neck being thoroughly ravished.

Gasping when Sirius licked the hollow of throat, he felt his whole body melt, making sure to keep any moans from coming out. He didn't have to worry long as Sirius' mouth claimed his own and he immediately allowed entrance for the other boy. Sirius made a low growl in his throat at the compliance, hands traveling up Remus' shirt in less than a heartbeat.

"S-Sirius, we can't…Nngh…go that far…ah…unless we're dating," Remus gasped out, reveling in the fact that yes, he had just won that battle. Sirius slumped on top of him, letting out a pathetic sounding sob of misery.

"Are you _kidding _me?" He gasped out; scowling at the shrug Remus gave him. Bowing his head in defeat, he rubbed at his head, taking deep breaths. "Fine…you, me, shower."

"Not that either."

"GAH!"

----------------------

"The astronomy tower, a very cliché make out spot," Lily sighed, looking around. James snickered from behind her, going to sit on the ground in the only patch of moonlight.

"Relax Lily, we aren't going to be making out," he sighed, stretching out as she came to sit beside him. "I brought you here to talk."

"Really James?" She asked, rather surprised despite herself. He smiled, nodding his head.

"Even though I've stalked you since first year, I really don't know that much about you," he said, shocking himself at how calm and collected he sounded. Looking over at Lily, she was wearing the look of complete melt down. Did he do something wrong? Lily jumped, shaking her head wildly as if she understood his mental question.

"This is really sweet James, thank you," she said softly, sincerely.

"Your welcome then," he responded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and drawing her close. "So, what's your favorite color?"

"Black," she sighed.

"Really, I always took you for a green person," James said. Learn something new every date he guessed.

"No, what about you, your favorite color?" She asked.

"Brown."

"The poop color," she laughed.

"No- well, yeah I guess it is, but brown has always been my favorite," he said. "Favorite food."

"Pot roast," she replied, smiling at the moonlight. It felt so good. "You?"

"Any form of meat, I will devour it," he answered, laughing at weird that sounded. It was true, but he always saw Remus as the bigger meat eater, especially around the full moon. "Weirdest moment."

"I was doing my homework late at night and saw a deer, dog, and wolf running across the grounds," she said. "The best part about that was…do you want to know?"

"Yeah," he said numbly, still surprised someone had seen them.

"I knew it was you, Sirius, and Remus," she said, looking up at him. He laughed nervously, scratching his head again. Clearing his throat, he looked at the moon up above, avoiding contact with Lily.

"How could it have been us Lily?" He asked.

"Because I know how loyal you are to your friends, to Remus especially, he being the werewolf and all," she said, hoping to get trough to James that she was indeed accepting of the idea.

A long moment of silence before James finally responded. "How did you find out about that?" He asked nervously.

She smiled. "I noticed his pattern, did some research, then saw you guys that night, it all clicked," Lily said softly. "Ever wondered why I always copied the notes for him when he was in the Hospital Wing? It was my way of helping him, knowing that if I told him I knew, he would get scared and run."

"I see," James said at last. "Thank you Lily, from me and Remus, I think."

"No problem," she grinned. "What about you, weirdest moment."

"When I first walked in on Sirius and Remus snogging their brains out on Sirius' bed," James said sheepishly. "I think their relationship was under wraps because when they noticed me at last, they sprang apart so fast I thought a tornado had struck. So the whole was more awkward then weird, but that is all I could think of."

"I found out about them early on too," she confessed, looking sheepish. He stared.

"Where are your sources and can I use them?" He asked mockingly. She stuck her tongue out at him, grinning.

"If you observed them, you would know," she said smartly, winking at her boyfriend for good measure.

"Whatever Lily, I'll discover your source someday," he chuckled. "So, what is your…hum, favorite book?"

"Don't have one, all of them are favorites," she said. "Do you know what video games are?"

"The muggle things? Yeah," James responded.

"Have you ever played?" Lily continued to ask, looking intent. James nodded.

"Only briefly," he said.

"What's you favorite video game?" She asked.

"That one ball eating the white dots," he said.

"Pac man? You're a fan of the classics, I myself currently love Kingdom Hearts," she said.

"That's good to hear."

"Yeah."

"Hey Lily?"

"Hm?"

"I really love you, thank you for coming on this date with me," James said, hoping he sounded as sincere as he felt. Lily smiled, gently kissing him before snuggling up to him and falling into a peaceful slumber, James soon joining her.

-------------------------

_Dear father,_

_I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did to me all those years, but now I know that it really wasn't you. It still is a little shady in some areas, but that is okay, because I have the rest of the school year to think about everything that went wrong and see what I can do to correct those things. _

_I admit, I'm really sad and frightened that you were right there in front of me, and then suddenly, poof, you were gone. Was that why I cried? Was it because I could have easily said I'm sorry or a simple I forgive you before you blew both you and mother to hell? Or heaven. I hate to say this but I don't think you quite made it there._

_I suppose that's it._

_Love,_

_Remus_

Remus set the quill down, glaring down at the page as if it were the cause of all his problems. He didn't even want to write the stupid thing, but Sirius, in punishment for being denied sex twice, had forced him. Well, that's what Remus thought Sirius' reasoning for this was.

"Do you feel better?" Sirius asked from behind him.

Remus nodded sharply. "Sort of, yeah, like I was able to let some stuff out."

Sirius nodded his head, going back to his stack of cards that was sitting on his bed. Pulling out one in the middle, he grumbled when they all fell forward onto his foot. "Damn three's," he murmured.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked, sitting down on the bed directly across from Sirius. The other boy glanced up at him before promptly ignoring him again. Remus scowled, huffing before lying down, staring at the top of his (soon to be) boyfriend's bed. Sighing, he continued to stare at the freaky picture of some cartoon guy from some muggle movie. He recognized the blob as Ursula from The Little Mermaid. Why would Sirius want to wake up to that?

All thought was knocked out of him when Sirius finally tackled him, tearing his shirt from his body in one fluid movement.

"Sirius, no sex until we are dating," Remus warned, hoping his body didn't betray him.

"We're back together then, you are just too sexy," Sirius growled, trailing tender kissed all up the trembling abdomen and chest. Remus moaned, reaching to pull Sirius to his lips.

"That's all I ask," he whispered feverishly.

"That's not all you'll be asking," Sirius responded, before going back to his job.

Remus had a feeling Sirius was right.

**---END---**

**What a way to finish the epilogue! Yay! I thought that bit of fluff was good. Sorry for cutting off the sex scene, if some one else wants to write one, then go ahead, just ask. Thanks for the reviews!**

**8D**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---END---**


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